Generally speaking death doesn't really hold much fear for me. I first began feeling suicidal about 2 years ago. Well, entertaining the notion anyway. I suffer from depression on and off and don't really have any emotion left. I am past caring in a sense. That does make living more bearable in some ways, but not really any better. Since first thinking about suicide I have continued to entertain the notion. However, I have thought about it more frequently and more seriously as time has passed. I have thought about how and where etc.. I think I would go somewhere I would never be found. I would sell all my stuff and say I was going travelling. I don't want my body prodded about and my life investigated. I don't want people to know I killed myself, especially my family. It all sort of feels inevitable now. One month, one year, not at all, I don't know for sure. It just seems to be where I am heading. I know nothing is certain in life and am an openminded person though. I don't think what anyone says is going to make any difference to what happens to me. I am curious though. I am not going to get any treatment. Does anyone know other people like me? I mean in the sense of the way i'm thinking and allowing for the brief history I have given. Is it a familiar pattern that usually ends in suicide? It just feels so inevitable. Is this a strong sign of eventual suicide? I would appreciate some brief replies if possible please. Please don't think saying i'm likely to commit suicide will make any difference to me. It really won't. Thanks.