Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by *dilligaf*, Feb 8, 2008.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I just found out it is time to do my Nan's headstone. My Mum says she hasn't told the rest of the family cos I was "Nan's number 1" and she knows I would want to do the wording and that.

    So now she wants me to do the wording, I don't know what to say, how do you describe such a wonderful, generous, loved, missed person in such a few words?

    Then we go and look at surrounds and stuff and decide what we want it to look like.

    Usually when I am home (and not at Vikki's) I go to see my Nan quite a bit. Now I am moving in with Vikki...and I'm so pleased about that...but there's one thing that's tearing me apart....I am going to be so far away from the grave. I know you don't need to go to a cemetery to remember someone you loved, but *I* am the one who keeps it looking good. I can't bear the thought of it being ignored, and her not being visited.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Whenever I think of my grandfather and especially on his birthday, I always go into church and light him a candle and then just sit with him a while.

    You don't have to be catholic Sam and the church is open most of the day..get Viks to take you down to St. Dominics its beautiful, peaceful and I miss it.
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    :hug: i agree with terry. Go down every other week if you can or even once a month to the grave for it's up keep. I really believe that if you keep hr memory alive in your heart or do like terry said you will eb okay. It'll be a tough adjustment at first but she knows you love her dearly and will always love her.
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Hey Terry - Thanks for that, I have asked Viks and she says she will. :hug:

    Hey Kells - I will go down to the grave whenever I can. And I am also going to make my Mum promise me she will go once a week with flowers.

    Thanks both of you :hug:
  5. three

    three Member

    Have you thought about "Rest now, Darling" on the stone? Like you have here on the page? I think that's the most beautiful statement and shows all the myriad of how loveable (and loved) a person is/was in just three words.

    How often do you think you might get to go? She can't possibly be ignored since she's riding around in your big warm heart. She's just right there. As for her resting place, make a care kit to bring with you. Scissors to clip grass, a rag to wipe the stone...perhaps some kitchen wax to help it keep cleaner. Bring her studier flowers if you do flowers, or something like pretty stones (maybe even those with words on them that describe her...) to lay at her headstone that will stay nice all of the time. That way when you arrive back there, things will still be neat and you won't feel badly.

    You may even be able to talk to the tenders asking them how you can make sure her spot gets extra care.

    In the mean time, if somewhere in your heart you feel she might feel neglected, realize she can't possibly since you love her all the time. That's the most important thing.

    Hope this helps. I'm glad you have something going on in your life about which to feel good.

  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Hi Three hun,

    Thank you so much for your lovely post.
    I ended up choosing the words

    "Special Wife, Mum and Nan.
    Forever kept in our hearts.
    May you Rest In Peace"

    Thanks for all the other suggestions I think I might do that :hug: