Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sunshinesblack, Nov 5, 2010.

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  1. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    anyone else thinking of giving up because of weird health issues?
    guess only someone in the same situation can talk about it
    im almost 24 but had them all my life
    i never could talk to anyone and am so alone
    they r not life threatening on their own but they made my social life hell and am giving up
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 5, 2010
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    can you tell us what they are?
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    My health problems have given me a definite expiry date.
    That can either give a person hope and force them to be more active in their life and try everything in the time they have left-- or force a person into despair over dying; although they have yet to die.

    Does your health give you any drive to try and be the best person you can be, or does it make you feel helpless?
    There are always support groups that can help you if you don't think things will work out all on your own. I suggest you give it a shot and look into a group! Being around other people with similar conditions can really help a person find a new lease for life.... even socially retarded ones, like me.
  4. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    they make me feel so miserable i rather not
    I rather talk to someone whose life also affected by some physical condition
    Am saying this cause my parents and "responsible adults" always made me feel im nuts and its all in my mind (while on the other hand i was getting bullyed and isolated for it), but as my thinking matured i realized I do have other issues that made me withdrawn socially and r very traumatizing. So basically instead of geting some medical help i got abuse of all sorts.

    I cant take any more feeling/in your head talk. As I have come to realize most of my "head stuff" had very real causes. I have a myriad of phisical issues some just being aesthetical but am guessing are linked to other stuff too. I have a undefined keratosis (maybe the derm is dumb and i need to find another one) and low calcium assimilation which made for all sorts of visible bone deformities including a scoliosis and recently a spondylitis from to much computer so am even afraid to work.
    Thought i could work and get money to resolve some of them but guess not , so I just give up. Have no options left and have a hard time thinking i am living in the 21 th century with the abuse i get for it. Im pretty much my families liveing secret which is pretty ridiculous since am a single child.
    I just feel Im the most alone person I ever met online or off.
  5. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    ups, did not see your post KittyGirl
    Thought of help groups at some point but I dont know where id fit, I really cant find for my weird stuff, and when i see people on a similar issue wineing and i know i have 5 more I cant find any support.
    It did make me more determined but i guess in vane, I am burnt out from all the harassment and abuse, and I know i am socially not entitled to a decent life.
    Sorry to hear about your condition though. How do other people react to it? I guess we all can find streanght to fight ours its fighting the rest of society that is miserable.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 5, 2010
  6. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Eva, I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how hard your life must be. I find it absolutely disgusting that you receive harrassment and abuse because of your condition(s). How dare people be so ignorant and cruel!

    Although I have several physical conditions which do hinder me and cause me a lot of physical pain, they are not too bad, and not the cause of my depression. However, my sister has ME, fibromyalgia, a collection of autoimmune diseases, and a hole with a granuloma in on her face which needs an operation involving major reconstructive surgery and a skin graft, as well as a number of mental illnesses too.

    So I can understand what you're saying, to some extent, as I see the same thing with my sister (who I'm a carer for, by the way). I hope that you find someone you can relate directly to, and provide mutual support too.

  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    oh, don't say that! I think you seem very nice :)
  8. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    sorry to hear that this is going on. people can be such total assholes is blows my mind sometimes. unfortunately, common decency is not that common.

    the "it's all in you head" stuff people are stupid. do you think that your parents are abusive? I think that sometimes abusive people give you the "it's all in your head" stuff, because they don't see you as legitimate, and therefor any complaint that you have is also not legitimate and therefor just in your head rather than having a real physical basis. also, it just gives them another excuse to put you down.

    I hope that you can get better. I think that acupuncture is good for a lot of things, but I don't know if it would help with bone deformities.

    Here's hoping that things get much better really soon!

    :stars: :hug:
  9. jimmy88

    jimmy88 Well-Known Member

    Yes, I've had cauda equina syndrome for the past half year due to a falling accident when I broke my spine... now I have bowel/bladder,
    walking, and nerve problems, and my sexlife is virtually over before it began. I already had a bunch of personality disorders, low self esteem, and anxiety/depression before this but was never suicidal/had suicidal ideation. Now that I figure recovery wont get much better (and im already mentally/emotionally broken anyway) I'm set to live a very miserable lonely life. This is fact and not any delusion on my part. Before there was always hope of living a normal life, now im utterly hopeless without any friends or understanding family and just looking for a way out. Hard to do that when the common belief in society is "You can't die! You must suffer some more because our lives are meaningful to us therefore your life MUST be meaningful to you.. (or you're just sick.)"
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2010
  10. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    wow, thanks for answering
    did not expect people to answer much
    so sad to find people in such situations
    I have been busy being depressed and when not working on a pay per project cause i need any money I can get , but it gets me even more depressed how little I earn. Its 2:30 am now and am going to bed I wish the day had more hours.
    Just dont know what to say here, its really so hard, I feel like people wanted me to be in this situation and all bad things happen cause someone wanted them to. Am so paranoid at the moment makes it very hard to talk/write

    Thanks for answering and making me feel less alone. I wish I could make it different for all of you.

    Madam Mim : Its so incredibly sad to hear about your sister. Now am scared too since i inherited granuloma tendency from my mom. Se resolved hers with some disinfectant paste thet the bone was filled with cause hers also was recurring. Already had 2 surgeries (diffrent doctor)and am putting off the third cause i just dont have the mental state for it. I dont even dare ask how your sister got like that. Is she around here? Are the mental illnesses related to her situation?

    may: I feel like the description the outhor of "how to win friends and influence people" in the first cheaper, is true . He says most criminals see themselves as decent people defending themselves not as cruel murderers. Than he says 99% of people never think themselves as wrong. I get this reality warp all the time. People always prejudge me(hatefully) in a way that keeps me where I am, than they say its me.I ended up withdrawing socially cause of bullying for my looks and people always told others why im so. So I used to either get despiseful looks as "looks dont count its whats in ur head that is important" and im am stupid and vane to think it does than I get rude coments on my looks, people always makeing hints how bad and discusting I look, and how I should kill myself since there is nothing good in life for me and one would by my bf and so on, and these from people in the same circle of friends or group.
    And yah my parents fall in the "you dont need to have any friends or partner to be happy so shut up and work till you drop" cathegory. They always got angry I even wanted friends , and thats why I think they where somewhat abusive cause they made me feel guilty for it, and for feeling ugly and rejected. Also they always dismissed what I was telling them about getting bullyed as not real, and makeing me feel guilty I dont talk nice enough and thet its me thets not accepting other people and stuff like that. Just tipeing it makes by blood boil.

    Now am just trully outcast and people dont want to do with me because of it, I look ill, depressed and dont know how to talk to people since they r all criminals to me, if i had the guts i would have suicided by now and it gives me a very hopless perspective when I get to meet new people, like I could have been already ded to them.

    jimmy, have you been told you are non recoverable? what I read it says it sometimes can take a lot of time. Heres hoping to a quick as possible recovery. Yah I think people dont want to accept theyr life may become unlivable and hopeless. I think its wery hard to find actually open minded people but its not your fault
  11. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    oh Sunshine, I am sorry for all this pain, both emotional and physical. I do have physical challenges. But not to the extent that you do. However its extremely socially limiting. The long term prognisis is not very good. Although its not a horriffic condition unto itself.

    I hear ya that you feel horrible about who you are. People who bully others because of diffences are very insecure people. I know this does not change how it effected you. Often the scars, wounds from the bullying, name calling, are deep. Rooted so deeply into the system. I wish there was a way to tell you that you are not who they say you are. But then again, i know that I do not believe good things about myself. So I do not expect others to do same.

    I hope that you will find SF a haven to be at. A place where people will care about you because of who you are. And you can begin to know that you are not alone. Because you have friends here. Those friendships can deepen over time. Huge safe nuggly hugs for you, if you would like those.
  12. jimmy88

    jimmy88 Well-Known Member

    Hey sunshine,

    I've only been given the "time will tell" spiel from my specialists. Nerve damage is one of the worst things to predict in medicine so that's understandable. Still, I feel like things aren't going to improve much and that's okay. I've come to accept that my life will end in suicide. Some people live long, happy lives and others live short, tragic lives. It's a balance that I happened to be on the less cheery end of, but I've made peace with it. I do hope you find a way to deal with your physical conditions though.
  13. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    yah was guessing, I only know what these type of enigmas do to my emotional state, but mine have been building up all my life, I guess you have some of that too and that's another real problem. Dunno what to say, there are positive thing to be sayed but I guess its up to each person whether those fit or not. You know there are people that recover after years of coma and I just read a story about a person that was having this brain degenerative disease and after every attack (for lack of a batter word) was relearning to speak and write. She sayed thet every time the learning is quicker so she stays positive but the desease was ireversible and with fathal outcome. My point is we all get there but we might as well hpe and make the best of what we have. In your case would be all possible to foster nerve growth, weather its midless pray or research on similar sucess storys and food suplements and what not, Id go for it. Am saying this beause I gave up on myself in my teens when depression struck me badly and while I forgive myself for it cause circumstances where to hard to talk about even now, I learned the consequences on my health are very serious and I should have cared bout myself and listen to what is going on with me not to every flying bs people around me tossed, and not compare myself to my ideal all the time. If you are also at peace with haveing a extreamly slow miserable death go for it but if not you either have to suicide or to do your best for yourself, including the acting like I posibly will get my nerves back and i dont want to miss the possibility by treating myself like crap. At least thats my experience the letting urself down road is very long and even if you fight one step back it may be nothing to the rest of the world but its what keeps you there and not further down on it, ITS VERY IMPORTANT . It starts with a little uncertain give up and if you dont fight them they keep piling to your extreme disadvantage.
    Anyway I dont really know much about you, but I for one am tring to make myself 4 hours a day when I do something for myself, even though am not hoping for anything but I know I have to do my emotional best (not in the working extenuating sense )and even if all will remain the same it means I managed to not damage my health even further which is quite huge if I manage it.
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