Sometimes on Facebook I get requests from people I knew in school. I dread those moments because you just know they're going to ask you what you're doing with your life now. To which, what do I say? That I've spent the better part of the last 14 years dealing with depression, anxiety and extreme self-loathing thanks to what I went through in school, and that I haven't been able to face working? I'm on a part-time college course at the moment so I can talk about that at least. But still...the course I'm on is an employability skills course. So what, was I not employable before then? And they tend to be doing very well for themselves. They're married, have kids and some big successful job. And honestly, I don't have that much to show since I left school. I have a bit more of a social life these days. Have a few friends. To be honest though, I'd rather just forget about school completely these days. I still have recurring dreams about school and I don't have fond memories of it at all. Sometimes I think I've moved on but then other times something will happen to trigger those memories. A dream or seeing someone from back then. I also had a bit of a reputation for being the quiet kid. The loner. The dork. And as much as I've grown and evolved as a person since those days, I always feel bound by who I was back then. Sometimes I try to compensate for it by being as loud as I possibly can these days. My older brother even told me I was being too loud the other day. I'm not really looking for any advice with this situation. I really just wanted to rant and see if anyone else here could relate and has dealt with similar experiences?
Hearing from people from school
- Thread starter SAVE_ME
- Start date
I've accepted a few friend requests from people from school but only from the people I actually liked. I don't talk about depression much on FB but I do share the odd post and I don't make a secret of the fact that I'm still very much struggling. It's actually surprising how many are in or have been in a similar place. I'm glad to have those few friends back in my life now, even if it's just online.
I've also been thinking about whether it's really healthy to continue to go on facebook. Basically, the people there I've known over 40 years and some from college. But, the truth is, my life, I feel is not as good as theirs. My choices. The relationships with my children. Well, what is posted on facebook looks so damn perfect and I dont have that, not nearly. I have just sometimes, ok moments. I just dont want to be on it. So, I can relate.
Yeah definitely. I used to try and hide my depression a lot but it is true, as I've learned over the years, that it's a lot more commonplace than we previously thought. Just yesterday, I had a guy add me from back in school (which kinda triggered this post). He actually apologized and said that he was sorry if he ever gave me a hard time. Truth be told, I never really had any issues with him. There were people who were far far worse and whose words definitely left a huge gash in my mental health since I left. He went onto say that he also had his fair share of torment from people, so I mentioned my mental health struggles. Haven't heard back since and even if he doesn't respond, I don't feel that bad for doing so. I'm fed up of trying to hide who I am and what I've been through just so I can look like I've had my life together and have made this huge success of my life since leaving school. Truth is, I haven't. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, since I left it's been a rough ride and I'm still picking up the pieces.
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Its funny you started this thread because I have been looking at my sisters life in a different perspective. Her FB posts and pictures show all happiness and shots of their vactions/adventures/hanging out with people as she is miss popular. Always have rolled my eyes at her having the insane need to stop everyone from what they are doing for photos 100s of them to get that perfect shot. I looked at my niece and nephew recently before Halloween and realized this culture those days is not healthy on them. My nephew is almost 4 and no one wants him over their house including my house. Hes not trained on social manners nor can he behave himself and will knock stuff over. On the outside her life seems very enriched and full, behind those closed doors I sense its empty and wasteful moments just for that shot. Always have dropped things just to visit them nowadays I definitely am glad I did not follow in her footsteps as I had some regrets for not doing those milestones earlier than never. She has two full time jobs, her husband has a fulltime job very busy schedule with the kiddos and always on the go. No one chills in that household. Thats not a life I definitely want to live. And I feel bad for the kids but they dont know that it is not normal. My niece is only 6 and is already self-conscious on her eating habits. When she is alone with my mother and I being a cool girl she is she relaxes and does not worry about food but whenever my sister/bro-in-law is around shes looking over her shoulder while shoveling food in her mouth. The nephew is a holy terror and damages things/objects is constantly on the go. There is no down time in that household. Those kids I can definitely see are on the wrong path already to self destruction.
Just saying those days I no longer care about peoples lives and their photos as I dont see the whole picture. Just a few here and there thats it. It doesnt tell me much as far as I know anyone can fake it?
Cheers thank you for starting this thread
Just saying those days I no longer care about peoples lives and their photos as I dont see the whole picture. Just a few here and there thats it. It doesnt tell me much as far as I know anyone can fake it?
Cheers thank you for starting this thread