Heart broken

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Painttheskyred, Jul 22, 2007.

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  1. Painttheskyred

    Painttheskyred Well-Known Member

    I don't really know where to start on this , i haven't really posted in a very long time.......i just don't know how to put this without breaking down here goes nofing.

    About a day ago i was arrested and taken to jail for a week while my gf was taken away from as well as my young child , taken away by social services in my country and she was sent back to leeds im not saying this aint my fault because it is , the doctor said i had post-tramaic stress and autism the strangest thing is i only just found out 18 years into my life , and my gf and the baby where taken away incase i harmed them.....i was locked up incase i commited suicde ive now been let out because i had to lie through my teeth to these people to get out and now im on my own , my un-born child will never be mine im never allowd to see my gf again and now i have no life at all , i attempted to commit suicde yesterday , but found myself passed out on the sofa with a blood stain on my shirt and that didnt make me 2 happy at all im only posting on here to see what reactions i get from people , right now i cnt even take constructive-criticism without breaking or smashing something so please go easy.....my gf didnt want to go at all she said i dont want to go straight in front of my and the social worker and she told me i was putting words into her mouth and i wasnt the women in charge at the time was so undermining and horrible to me she spoke down to me and patronized me countless times she kept looking at here co-worker as if i was talking a load of shit which i wasn't , i was pleading them not to take her way all they kept saying i was doing the right thing , but i dont think anyone stopped to think about my mental health , im thinking so hard of a painless way out of this , i dont want to expreince heavy pain by slashing my wrists i just want click my fingers a move on to my next life , and im feeling more like doing that than ever at the moment .... the question is will i go through with it .... im really confused i dont know what to do ... i really havent got anything left anymore im all by myself in my home with nofing but my suicidal thoughts , i feel if i dont kill myself i will kill the women who did this to me , sure you can say she was only doing her job , but she could have handled the situation more like a professional rather than undermine everything i say it was shooting blanks nofing would get through i even had 2 panic attacks at once when she left... im at deaths door ....... and im debating with myself now is this really the end ...... theres nofing anyone can do or say to make me feel any better im typing this because i wanna see if it helps and so far its made me worse as my tears are making me slip of the write letter i need to type on the keyboard ... if there is a end its now.
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    That's a sad state of affairs your in. It's unpleasant when people do such things and make it seem like in this case "you were the crazy one who doesn't know what there talking about"

    What does your family and friends think of this?
  3. Painttheskyred

    Painttheskyred Well-Known Member

    I dont have family or friends :unsure::sad:
  4. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    yes you do right here right now.

    i am a friend to you and a family member to you.

    I am your sister in Christ.. so please do not say you got nobody cause you very well do..
  5. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear that. Though I have a family thye are just my so-called family actually. I rather have no family at all if I know my 'family' will treat me like shit. Friends? Yeah...got some fake ones that their stupid faces makes me wanna puke! I hope you can make some true friends here... :smile:
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