Okay, this is an extremely long story, so I'll cut it short, and I'm gonna leave some bits out. I was in love with a boy, a little older than me. I told him I loved him, but he couldnt return the love, ouch. But I had never experienced love before, so I was like okay cool. But then... as a year went past, I was in love with him, and he drifted to his girlfriend to another, and was with her for a while. It hurt me because I loved him more than life itself. Then, the couple didn't work out... then, the happiest day of my life came, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so happy. And I showed it. But after about a year went past, he started looking through me, it was like he got bored of me... and soon left me for another girl. I was devistated, I cried like hell. He told me that it was forced. [stuff happened, I shouldn't say] Soon, he broke up with her, and asked me again to be with him. But as much as I loved him, I told him I wasnt sure... it hurt me to say that because I just loved him so much. But then he got another girlfriend. And looked through me again.... A year later... I was still in love with him more than ever. I was then told by close friends who wouldn't lie to me, they told me that things were spread around about him. Like he's a pervert, and asks girls for breast pictures. I knew that could have related to him, and I believed it. I broke down, I was in such a state. That night I couldn't take it much further and got out a knife and tried to cut myself because I couldn't find anything sharp enough, but the knife didn't work... so I was going to stab myself. I held it to my stomach, but in a way I didn't want to kill myself, but I couldn't handle the pain. I had to stop because I heared someone approach the room. Things then got sorted out, and the truth came out that thats what he USED to be, and they were romours about him still doing it. I was relieved. [more things happened that I shouldn't say] He then broke up with his girlfriend again. This time, it seemed like he really wanted to be with me again, he said things like "I shall not give up until we are one again". He showed love. But in a way I didn't believe him, but I loved him so much. But soon, without even telling me, he returned back to his girlfriend. I was devistated. I knew I should move on... but it's so hard because I love him so much. It's not an obsession, I am just in love with him and I commited myself to him. I have attempted suicide on several occasions, different ways, and self-harming becoms worse each time. What do I do? How can I overcome this pain?