Heavy Gamble Addicted..Im cureless..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cureless, Mar 14, 2010.

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  1. cureless

    cureless Member

    Hi guys.. im from a average family but however thus im making lots money i become a fast money user. Most of the time i get broke because of gamble.
    Im writing this because i feel that im totally no cure. Why i say that?

    I earned my 1st 10k usd (im not from US actually) when i was only 21. The highest earned for a month approx 80k usd. Average monthly income 30k usd. For most of time, I enjoyed my life fully however it doesnt ever spent me more than 1.5k usd included my mid average car loan,double storey house loan, insurance etc .

    I dont know why, i love to gamble. However im not greedy, everytime i won100 usd - 300 usd i stopped. I never ever think that today, im 25. With nothing ever. I quit my job a year ago planning that im going to do my own business. I invest some of my money doing some product for sale. My business quite well. i earned around 2-3k usd per month with simple job by doing on9 and open a shop.

    I though that, its a well done life i ever have where im boss myself. I no longer have to face my black faces of my boss. But nightmare comes, One day, because of im a heavy gambler.. I cant control myself to keep playing. I cant stop unless i win back. I lost my 1st 10k usd in 1st 2 hours.

    Not enough for that another 10k in a month later on. I suddenly having some financial problem. Borrow from bank , then crisis past.. I swear for quitting gamble but useless. Stop for few months then when my life getting better im going gamble again.

    I have my loving girlfriend. However im scare to tell her that im lost. She know im broke for the first time but she give alot support for me. Chances too much but i keep step back to my bad habit. A month ago.. I had to let go house and stay with my family. My shop closed down. With some of money, not more than 5k usd left i decided to work as a waiter where earning not more than 500usd a month.

    I dunno how. But yesterday im totally out of my mind.. Im lost all of my money and left nothing. I won at 1st but i couldnt believe that because of im greedy more abit , i left with my everything gone. Im planning to suicide but im think of my family and my love one. Im so scare but i have nothing that i can do.
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you posted :)

    I don't believe you are without hope, but it will take effort on your part.

    It sounds like you have a very serious gambling problem. Have you ever got any help for that? Maybe attended Gambers Anonymous meetings, or anything like that?

    I also think you need to be honest with your girlfriend and family because support is very important, as is taking responsibility. Sometimes telling people can make you accountable to them and help prevent you gambling.

    You can start to work your way back from this but only with support and hard work. It IS doable though.
     
  3. cureless

    cureless Member

    Yes it is. I can hardly think to make my effort back as usual. However the problem is im scare having the same problem in future again. I just told my gf in sms couple of min just now. She seems so mad.
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Well done for telling her.

    Anger is a cover emotion and it covers many things like hurt (that you didn't trust her), confusion, sadness, anything like that, so try to wait out the anger and work out what's underneath it.

    You can't do anything about your future, only about your present, which changes all the time. If you keep all your presents in check and don't gamble in your present, then what was once the future and is now the present won't have a problem. Focus just on now, on getting through this and getting help. If you focus too far ahead it will feel overwhelming.
     
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i know alot of people with your problem

    they've managed to cope by joining GA, Gamblers Anonymous

    do you have any progra mlike that that you can look into?
     
  6. cureless

    cureless Member

    I dont think there is any such program over here. Or its joining on9 ? Most of my frds are gambler.. Sometimes its very hard to stop unless i stop meeting with them. But its not their problem. I pretty sure myself cant afford to lose. Even a little few bucks, I would risk all my $$ to win it back. Thats the causes that brings TODAY me ..
     
  7. cureless

    cureless Member

    She mad but she advice me not to anymore.. same like previous. She told me to hv an joined account which i cant take the money myself. Should that works ? How if one day she and me got problem ? How is the money ? :eek:hmy:
     
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