Height Matters?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Ralderable, Dec 4, 2012.

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  1. Ralderable

    Ralderable Active Member

    This thread will be about the disadvantages of having a short stature.

    Height has been a concern of mine ever since I hit puberty. I have always been the shorter one, now at 5 feet 4 inches my height has begon somewhat of an obsession, whenever I see a little light shining through, it gets darkened by that hidden voice in the back of my mind, explaining to me how my life will be a never ending failure due to being short.

    The most painful realization is that because of my height, love has become that much harder to find, thanks to the opinions cast upon short men. I am not a man yet, myself... There is still a chance I might grow, seeing a doctor again soon... but I shouldn't count on it... Its painful.

    One might have a heart of gold and a mind divine, but for some reason so many among us possess a certain shallowness, and because of that inherited shallowness my chances, I believe my chances are close to zero when it comes down to finding someone attracted to me.

    I would appreciate some advice... I don't know how to go on and on, how to accept and live with this.

    Thank you for reading this

  2. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    It is because of al of the magazines these days about weight place too much emphasis about height and weight. So I never understood why people even bother get themselves about things like that when all photos in those types of magazines are doctucured and have no real revelence to what the averagexx joe looks like.

    If you are sightly over weight, then you have nothing whatsoever to be self-conscious about the person you are really are.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I've know many attractive guys...some have been tall, some medium height, some short.

    Everyone likes different things in others. I like eyes and a great smile combined with a good sense of humor. Hmmm...height doesn't even cross my mind. :dunno:

    It is what we project of ourselves into the world that makes the most difference. If someone wanted to dismiss me as a potential friend or partner based on my outward appearance alone, they're not really someone I'd want to be with.

    If you can, maybe put the worries that you're not good enough behind you.
  4. Ralderable

    Ralderable Active Member

    ''If you can, maybe put the worries that you're not good enough behind you.''

    That would solve a lot.... But its one of the hardest things to do for me... Trying to... Just no there yet.
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I know, hun. It is harder to do than to say. How about a reframing? Instead of focusing on what you think is not good, focus on the things that you do like about yourself. Here's a challenge...tell us three things about yourself you like. (They can be looks-related, or something you know how to do, or maybe a personal quality - good sense of humor or kind...anything.) Three things...:smile:
  6. Ralderable

    Ralderable Active Member


    Really bad at mentioning positive aspects of myself, for several reasons, one being... It somehow feels wrong because of it being about myself.

    I suppose the first one would be.... I am really passionate about art. Been pursuing that passion for many years now and I do find I possess the ability to create certain things that can be considered as beautiful.

    Second one... Not something I am necessarily proud of, but something that does make me somewhat special in a way in my above average IQ

    Last... I have been told I can be very sensitive, compassionate and that I possess a strong sense of empathy towards others...

    I don't know how much all this matters though, I know it sounds rediculous, but while I can appreciate, and while I look for qualities like those in others... For some reason I refuse to believe thats what others look for in me.
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Those are all great qualities! People with a passion for something are often very interesting. The difference between "liking" and "being passionate" is big. That's cool that you are passionate about art! Intelligence is nothing to be sneezed at. Means you can think and see and intuit things. Yes, I've sensed your empathy in other posts!

    I think that there are many people who would enjoy knowing you. It can take some time to meet people and establish the kinds of friendships (or more) you want, but you have a good start on what sorts of things are great to have in a friend/partner. :smile:
  8. lordsalisbury

    lordsalisbury Well-Known Member

    5'4" isn't short! It's not tall, granted, but it isn't short. If it's any help to you, a few years ago I had a friend called Dave, he was around 5'2" or 5'3", bald, and about twenty years older than me, but he was a mad hit with the ladies. He had oodles of charisma. He even dated a young actress who has since become famous (I probably shouldn't name her, she's in a british tv show that is very popular). It's a harsh truth (but a fortunate one for us) that women are much less shallow about looks than men are.

    And also, this might just be an odd thing about me, lol, but I find short, petite women incredibly attractive. I always go for the short ones!
  9. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I know I have already posted a reply to your thread, but I felt that I should add that height matters not one bit. It is what you do with your life that matters the most. So do something grand with your life and forget the notions of height and/or proportions.
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You're the same height as me, and honestly I would date a man my height or shorter. What matters most to me is the characteristics and personality that the guy has. Sure, lots of women want to date a guy taller than them, but that doesn't mean that there aren't women out there who will date a shorter guy. You seem to be a good guy with an interesting personality, so I hope you don't give up your search. I'm sure you are bound to find the right girl for you. And no matter what, you should be confident in yourself, because you do have some great qualities.
  11. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    i am four foot eleven and a half. yes, the half is important (lol)! well no, it isn't really, but if i was being less pedantic i'd round up and say that i am five feet tall. my boyfriend, whom i love very much, is not much taller than me, maybe half a head? sooo a few inches, meaning he's about the same height as you.

    stereotypically they say that girls go for tall guys, but lets be real, for me it doesn't matter how tall or not tall they are. height alone is not a deal breaker for me. true dealbreakers would include things like people that smoke, drink lots or gamble lots, or whose idea of a good time is to go out and get trashed. other dealbreakers include things like a lack of maturity or an inability to understand me. and obviously he cannot be a prick. i'm not sure if you've noticed but none of these dealbreakers include looks.

    i look for guys that i can get along with, basically, and who have the same values as i do. looks factor into it but they're not anywhere near as important as you know, being able to get along with them. attractiveness is not based on looks alone, it is the whole package that comes along with it. the people that do judge on looks first and foremost are the kinds of people you don't want to get into a relationship with anyways. they're not worth your time.

    if you honestly and truly believe that you cannot find love because of your height, perhaps you're looking in the wrong places. finding people is a funny thing though, and it usually happens when you're least expecting it. i'm sure that you'll find someone though.

  12. Ralderable

    Ralderable Active Member

    Thanks to everyone who took their time to respond :) Will keep your advice and views in mind and ponder on it a little

  13. emoprincess

    emoprincess Well-Known Member

    I thought i'd give you my view on the matter, it might help.

    I'm a fairly tall woman and my fiance is only 5ft 5/6, which some people see as 'short'. But I woudn't change him for the world, and when love is that deep, it doesn't matter how tall, short, fat, or thin you are. Sure, some women/men may see it as an issue at first, but when love really comes along, they will look past that and see you for what you really are. Height doesn't matter at all, and if it were to bother someone, maybe they're not worth bothering with...
  14. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    thought i shud also say this. i'm also quite tall for a woman [around 5ft 9? i think, 181 cms], and i'm currently with a shorter guy [idk his exact height, but quite a lot shorter than me], and i'd have to say that i don't rly mind. it does kind of make me want to be 'lighter' lol >_<, but i wudn't leave him for his height lol, i think that'd be pretty stupid. his height has nothing to do with my feelings or such for him. and i also find him really attractive lol [just because. not related to his height].
  15. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    TBH I would say its not a lack of height that is the problem but rather a lack self confidence.

    Insecurity no matter what its form is always going to be off putting to the opposite sex.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2012
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