Held back

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by LonelyKid, Feb 18, 2008.

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  1. LonelyKid

    LonelyKid Well-Known Member

    I have to wonder everyday why I'm in the position I am now. I still can't come up with anything. I feel empty like I've lived half my life and accomplished nothing. Like I've lived so long and had so many chances and missed or ruined them all. I'm 17, people say I haven't and I'm just starting but I don't feel that way. I guess in my belief you have to start out strong and work at it from the beginning and I've done nothing like that.

    I've lost a huge part of my life. I've missed out on the part of my life I'm supposed to be able to look back on and miss. I've learned nothing from it and I think I have no self sufficiency. I'm nearly an adult and I don't think I could make it alone. I have no idea what to do and nobody to help me. I have nothing to start from now. No high school diploma, no friends, no nearby family (besides my mother), whom/that I can rely on. I'm becoming a heavier burden on my mother everyday and I want to take that off her.

    I'm just have no clue how to start life. Sounds stupid I guess but after all the stupid things I've done I have no trust in myself to do the right things. I just wish I had somebody to help me but I don't. I've had so many chances in real life to ask someone to help me but I denied myself the words to ask for it and I still do. I feel close to feeling better I think and the words that could do it are "Help me." but... it's ridiculous that it's near impossible for me... how do you ask for help? To someone face to face? I don't think I've ever done it.
     
  2. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    This is a major (or main and only?) cause of my depression. Thing is, I am three years older than you and so I am more further behind than you. I have also missed a lot of chances, missed out of many things that everyone else has done, so I am very underdeveloped and far behind. I know that sounds vague, sorry I can't go into more detail.

    I am also very afraid of the future because of how behind I am when everyone else. I am already an adult at 20 and that makes it even more embarrassing for me. You still have time, your not too badly behind.

    Anyhoo, I can relate to you a lot, I thought I was the only one with this specific problem on this forum actually, its sorta comforting to see I am not alone, even though you don't want others to suffer like you are.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 19, 2008
  3. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    You ending it will not take any pressure off of your mother, just add to it. It's the main problem I'm trying to deal with.

    There is no such thing as the right thing to do. It's something society makes us believe but no one has the first idea of what is right to do. Life is a game of trial and error, with the only goal being to try as much as you can while making as little error as possible. But you will make errors.

    As for asking for help, this forum is a start. The next is to ask someone in your life. I did and she was mostly a stranger when I did. But from it I got some time with a very close friend and someone to lean on when I needed her.

    I always feel like a hypocrite when I respond to these posts, but I know how much having someone say something means to me, so I can at least say what I wish I had someone to say to me.
     
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