My name is Miranda. I'm soon to be 21 on July 30th. I was a member long ago on this site as a teenager but had it deleted when I became an adult. Now I'm back because I need somewhere to release emotions. Every other forum I've tried either isn't active enough or members harassed me. I never had trouble with this site as a teenager & enjoyed it so I decided to come back here. I'm an introvert. I have Bipolar Disorder, Social Anxiety, Anxiety in general & Depression. I do from time to time have suicide thoughts but I'm more passive suicidal meaning that I don't attempt to end my life but if I was to end up in a situation that involved risking my life, I wouldn't try anything to save it. I have no friends. Just about everyone dislikes me & I'm not exaggerating when I say that. Literally. Don't have many friends on my Facebook cause I'm always getting deleted or I'm having to block someone. I feel like I don't relate to anyone at all & that my life is just one bad news after another lately. Nothing good ever happens & not for too long if so. I would like to have at least one good friend. A best friend. Like back in High School before everything just fell apart between us & we went our separate ways. I'm still an introvert but even I miss having someone to go to sometimes when I need them. Just don't feel like this world offers that to me & when it does that person is many miles away from my reach. It's always been this way. My family is tired of my visits to different doctors & being put on different medications because nobody nor anything is helping me. Honestly don't feel like there is anything. I can't even learn to drive a car because my anxiety is so bad. I can't even pass the Permit either. Taken it a couple of times now and keep failing so there's that. Just so hard to study for something I really don't have interest in doing to be honest. I don't work anywhere either cause I suck terribly at customer service. I get upset too easily & don't like it when customers want to chit chat because I'm awfully bashful. I start breaking out in hives & messing with my hands to where I rub blisters on them or cut them with my nails. My own biological father has told me to go to Hell & kill myself before. My mother is getting to that point where she wants to say it but holds it back. I can tell though.