well i just stumbled upon this forum a couple hours ago. its good to find support from people that are in a similar situation to myself. i just feel like i can't go on another day, i constantly cry and sleep. i currently live in germany as an air force wife and attempted suicide this past october. i was sent to a german ICU for 2 days than to a german psychiatric center for 2 weeks after. my problem is that my husband hasn't forgiven me yet. he is about to do a remote tour in korea (leaving in feb) and then has england assigned to him after. only problem is that air force regulations don't allow a dependent to go over seas if they've attempted suicide within the last 5 yrs. my husband refuses to changes his england assignment so it looks like i'll be all alone for the next 5 yrs. i don't know what to do, it hurts so bad just looking in the mirror. i hate myself for attempting suicide but i hate myself more for not succeeding. i think about trying again every waking moment, and i know my husband is suspicious because he calls from work almost every hour to check up on me. i quit my job and i'm home alone most of the day. i can't imagine being alone like this for another 5 yrs.