I really do not know what to say here. I do have a lot to live for. My two boys and wife of 11 years. Its selfish of me to think of leaving them alone but I know they would be better off without me. I have been fighting with bipolar and depression for about 20 years now. I finally sought out help and spent nine days in a mental hospital. Things were ok until I came home. Here I am reminded of every failure I have ever had. The misdemeanor assault charge (14 years ago) that keeps me from gaining employment. The government took my CDL license to drive a truck because I am a diabetic so I put myself back through school and now I am two classes from my Masters degree. A degree that is completely useless. I am tired of fighting the fight. I have lost my will to live and I do not know how much longer I will be here with you all. I sm not here for a pitty party, I have just given up on the fight to survive.