Hello and Thank you

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Polar, Aug 2, 2009.

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  1. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hello Everybody,

    Thank you very much for having me on this forum.

    My handle is Polar as you know and I have a serious mental condition. I have attempted suicide eight times and these are the symptoms I experience on a regular daily basis:

    * nausea, depression, poor concentration, disorderly thinking, headaches, clouded judgement, lack of coordination, collapsing, vomiting, choking on food, spasms, shortness of breath, loss of energy, shaking, bodily weakness, profuse sweating, coughing up blood due to lip biting, anxiety attacks, dizziness, flashbacks, insomnia, disrespect, dislike and obsessive thoughts.

    This is a little about my way of life:

    This is my definition of rejection:

    “Rejection is when a person or a group of people experience hurt due to neglect, refusal, condescension or abuse by a person or a group of people. It may also incorporate condemnation of personal ideologies and values and can be in verbal, written and visual forms. Furthermore, it must be stated that rejection occurs due to a person or a group of people’s concept of worth.”

    This is my definition of friendship:

    “A friend is a buddy who would do anything for you. They would swim through a tidal wave for you, they would climb a mountain with avalanches for you and they would walk through a desert baron of water for you. A friend is someone who would die for you.”

    I'm very suicidal and depressed at the moment and I have not many places to turn. People with links to and in the psychiatric profession have hurt me and left me and I don't have many friends. However, I have had something which has helped me enormously. There is a lovely lady I know who I speak to regularly who lost her daughter to suicide. She has helped me enormously and if it weren't for her my suicide attempts would be much worse. It's not easy being mentally and I have to go to work where I'm disrespected and disliked and bullied. The person who has done this the most has strong connections to the psychiatric industry and it is one of the reasons help is limited.

    I have come on here for help myself but I know all about suicide. I don't like saying this but no psychiatric nurse or doctor has lived my life. I've known a few people to commit suicide and I know many more who are mentally ill.

    My closest friend growing up ended his life a few years ago and it has left me devastated. I used to make sure I contacted him at least three times a week ever since I've known him since our teenage years but obviously it was not enough. His mum keeps saying thank you to me for being his friend as she said nobody else would. However, I don't think I did enough.

    I hope I can make a difference on here too is what I'm trying to say. I know how difficult being depressed is and I'd like to try to help others because I know what it's like to feel so alone.

    Thank you again for having me and I look forward to talking to you all.

    Kind regards,

  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome to SF!!

    I'm really sorry about your friend. You did all you could though. What happened to him wasn't your fault; you were a good friend to him.

    It sounds like you go through a lot on a daily basis. Have you been to a doctor, just to get checked out to see what's causing your physical symptoms? It's possible that they're caused by depression, but it would still be worth getting checked.

    I'm here a lot, so if you ever want to talk, you can PM me anytime.
  3. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi WildCherry,

    Thank you for your response.

    Yeah. I've had the symptoms checked out and they're all mentally related. They're related to anxiety and are quite aggressive. It is always difficult when you know somebody who loses their life and it is something that will always be with me.

    You've just got to keep going on though and I think try to set a good example.

    Thanks again for your response.

    Kind regards,

  4. weirdal

    weirdal Forum Buddy

    hey polar i just finished reading your post and i am deeply touched by you story

    i think its amazing youve come here to help people and i am sure everyone here will be here to halp you aswell if you ever need it

    myself i find myself in a depressive situaton at the moment which i cant get out of so yoru story provides me with motivation to at least tyr to keep going

    thanks you very much

  5. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Polar, I have a lot in common with you.

    Psychiatrics have made me worst with verbal abuse.
    My friend has commited suicide this past February.
    I feel the same as if doctors/nurses don't live my life.
    I have attempted many more then 8 times.
    The list could go on.

    Just know you are not alone. PM me if you ever need to talk.

    P.S. Welcome to the forums :)
  6. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi all,

    Thank you very much for your responses and your kind words. I'm sorry for the difficulties weirdal and upontherooftopsx you've been experiencing. You both deserve so much better and it will get better.

    You are both extremely caring people and I thank you for helping me by just listening.

    Kind regards,

  7. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi polar .. just thought i would say welcome 2 the forum :hug:
  8. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi Mandyj101,

    Thank you for the welcome and for having me here.

    I hope to talk to you soon.

    Kind regards,

  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    welcome to the forum and as you can see lot of caring and supportive people here for you too.
  10. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi Mary,

    Thank you for being one of those nice and caring people too. It's great that you are all so welcoming. :smile:

    Kind regards,

  11. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi Everybody,

    Is it just be or are people in society becoming more dehumanised?

    I've been on this forum and I have never been offended by one person whatsoever to this point. Everybody here is sensitive and caring. It seems though that when we venture outside in the big wide world, there is a lack of understanding for people with mental difficulties?

    This is despite the media advocating that mental health now has a devalued stigma. To me, it seems it hasn't devalued much at all. People are still outwardly cruel and not respectful of each other. They are particularly like this towards people who suffer from mental difficulties.

    I suppose my question to you is how can we make a difference to all this and set a good example?

    Kind regards,

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