I've attempted suicide a few times now and it still hasn't happened. I guess I'm lucky. I've come to realize that none of my friends really like me and that who I thought was the love of my life is cheating on me. And I'm going on road trip with her to the mountains of Colorado. I'm paranoid that she knows how shitty of a person I am and that shes going to encourage me to kill myself. Granted I am a shitty person. I have no morals and I want to see everyone end up dead. What do I do?