Hi guys and girls,
I've really been struggling to cope recently (bipolar and in midst of a severe down-swing), and felt like I needed a place where I could come when I needed a bit of extra support. Hopefully I've found it. I'm not sure what the etiquette is around here, so I thought I'd just dive in.
I don't suppose my story is wildly original - I have disordered eating mixed in with my bipolar - when I'm up, I starve, or binge and burge. When I'm low I don't care what I eat. I get into agitated states where I self-harm, but those are rare, thankfully. I've stopped telling my doctors when I feel suicidal - I've learned from long experience that all they do is increase the dose of my medications (that don't work anyway), and turn me into a zombie until I stop complaining about how I feel. Doesn't stop me feeling bad, just shuts me up... anyway, I'm whining now.
My main problem is that over the years I've cut myself off from friends, and I've wound up very isolated. Sometimes I just feel like I don't exist, like I'm actually invisible. All I want is a normal life, and when I look at how things are right now, I can't imagine how I'm ever going to get it.
anyway, I'm not always such a miserable bitch, honest! I just feel like I need to be around people who know how I feel just now.
Porcelain
x
I've really been struggling to cope recently (bipolar and in midst of a severe down-swing), and felt like I needed a place where I could come when I needed a bit of extra support. Hopefully I've found it. I'm not sure what the etiquette is around here, so I thought I'd just dive in.
I don't suppose my story is wildly original - I have disordered eating mixed in with my bipolar - when I'm up, I starve, or binge and burge. When I'm low I don't care what I eat. I get into agitated states where I self-harm, but those are rare, thankfully. I've stopped telling my doctors when I feel suicidal - I've learned from long experience that all they do is increase the dose of my medications (that don't work anyway), and turn me into a zombie until I stop complaining about how I feel. Doesn't stop me feeling bad, just shuts me up... anyway, I'm whining now.
My main problem is that over the years I've cut myself off from friends, and I've wound up very isolated. Sometimes I just feel like I don't exist, like I'm actually invisible. All I want is a normal life, and when I look at how things are right now, I can't imagine how I'm ever going to get it.
anyway, I'm not always such a miserable bitch, honest! I just feel like I need to be around people who know how I feel just now.
Porcelain
x
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I feel a bit better having found this forum. Part of the problem I have is when these feelings hit, I just feel so helpless, and never know where to turn. The first thing I feel like I need is understanding from people who really know what it's like to feel this low. I'm sure I'll get that here.