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Hello everyone!

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by I am H, Dec 7, 2015.

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  1. I am H

    I am H New Member

    Hi. I'm new here. I'm pretty young to be on this site, as I'm only 13 (for one more month). I have depression and anxiety and frequently experience panic attacks. I struggle with body image a lot. Sometimes I'll make myself so upset over something that I get sick. Sometimes I get so upset that I want to kill myself. People tell me that I shouldn't be so sad and upset all the time because I have a great life compared to others. I just wish people wouldn't say things like that.
    I'm here to try to make some friends who also experience similar things, and to get support when I feel the way I often do. So hi!
  2. ppisces

    ppisces New Member

    Hi H,
    First let me say, that I think you are very wise and brave for writing! Sometimes it is very difficult to ask for help. Secondly, I want to point out that there are a TON of well-meaning people out there, who have NO IDEA what it is like to live with anxiety and depression. They say the things they do thinking that they are stating something wise that will help you, when in actuality they are only making things worse. Their comments lead to further self blame like: "Yeah, what a dope I am, here I have it so good and I'm always sad, now I know I REALLY suck!" Comparing your life to other people's lives is not helpful at all...no one knows what it is like to be YOU. You can have the "best" life in the world, but if you struggle with depression and/or anxiety, your world is colored by these illnesses. I suggest that when people say things like this you try saying firmly: I know you care, but depression/anxiety is extremely difficult to live with, and I cannot "will" it away, by comparing my life to the lives of others. I wish I could, because no one wants to feel better more than I do." Try something like that and see what happens. If some people persist, I would avoid them at all cost and seek out people who are more supportive and have a better understanding of depression
    I noticed you stated that you were "young" to be on this site. I hope you know that you are far from alone, in that many teenagers struggle with depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide. Many. I am wondering who you can talk to about these feelings in your life. Your mom or dad? Do you have a counselor? Are there counselors at school who are willing to listen? Last thing...struggles with body image is a huge problem for adolescents in particular, but many adults have issues with this as well. As you know ( probably better than the older people on here), so much on t.v etc, gives people the idea that they have to be absolutely PERFECT to be loved. SO UNTRUE!!!!! You know I'm sure, that all those images of models can be air brushed etc, to take out all the "flaws" (meaning the regular stuff) that all of us have. Having said that, eating in a healthy way, and getting exercise, can help HUGELY with depression. I know how hard it is to do those things when you are depressed, but the amazing thing is, when you do, you will feel better...not "fixed," but better in the sense that you feel motivated to do other things. The friend of depression is isolation. The more you are alone, the more it thrives. The friend of anxiety is avoidance. A sure way to make your anxiety grow over a certain issue is to avoid that very issue. I hope this helps a tiny little bit, and I will be thinking of you today.
    3 people like this.
  3. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Coee there!

    A lot of what you said could simply be put down to adolescence and the changing of your body (as far as body image goes) but when it comes to anxiety and panic attacks, that is a different matter entirely.

    Being 13 - almost 14 might be a little young to start medication, as they would only serve to poison your body, which is never good in people of a young age, but do you have someone to talk with that you absolutely trust, such as a family member or your nearest friend about some of the negativity that you think and feel? I know that when say talking about problems helps a lot is a cliche, but it really does help; but even if you do not, that you have decided to join SF, you have made a wise decision, as there are not only staff members (moderators and administrators) who will do what they can to help, but many members as well who will bend over backwards (not literally, of course) to lend you their ear, because everyone on SF, staff included, have their own kind of problems and are always there to help, day or night, so no matter the time of day or night, whenever you sign on here, you will always find a ton of members and sometimes a few staff members on-line who will help, even if it is just to give a small bit of advice.

    I suffer largely die of anxiety (currently on Murelax, which is a good mood stabiliser and helps a good deal with dealing with anxiety)so I know where you are coming from when it comes to anxiety and had body image problems since I was 19, although a long time ago now, I am much more secure in my appearance, though there are days when it returns, but a bit of advise about body image I have gained from my life experiences is that you should not let anything anyone says about you or your body get to you. That is the problem for the person/people who speak such nonsense about it to you, so there is no point in dwelling on their words or actions, as long as you live the life that you want and let those who think negatively of you live their own, because after all, if they have such a problem with you or anyone else like that, then that is their problem and you should forget about them to let them deal with it on their own while you go off and do your own thing which makes you happy and/or content; that is one thing that I like to think of as being able to lead a fulfilling life, when you are not allowing yourself to be dragged down by someone else who obviously has no intelligence to work on their own life instead of turning to someone else to put down, especially since I just took a quick gander at your profile (sorry for that!) and noticed you were a girl, which I can understand is much harder when constantly being bullied about body image by other girls your own age.

    I wish you all the best of luck and my PM is always open, day and night, in whatever part of the World you are, if you ever want to send me a message that you do not feel quite comfortable talking about on the open forums. I always reply, as fast as I can, so you can always expect a reply from me.

    Keep hanging in there and welcome to the site! Anything you say here is kept on the site, and never spoken of elsewhere, so you are free to open your mind and your heart on just about anything without fear of reprisal or trolls. :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2015
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