Hello everyone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by ZeroGrrl, Oct 13, 2007.

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  1. ZeroGrrl

    ZeroGrrl Member

    I've been posting here without introducing myself or saying Hi first :oops:

    I'm a <mod edit: bunny> female, I suffer from BPD and, in times of stress (now) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The OCD is fairly prominent at the moment, I'm hoping to come across other people who suffer from this.
    I realise that doing thing A won't prevent thing B from happening (if thing A is 'wear purple socks today and everything will be ok, do this, do that, get up at 4 am and walk for an hour and stupid things like that) but I just can't stop these thoughts popping into my head.
    I want to be able to prevent things from happening but I can't by doing these things.......
    Numbers and words have a certain meaning, some I must avoid etc....:rolleyes:
    As a result I have constant discussions with myself, along the lines of : you know this is stupid, don't give into it......and I still do...
    It's driving me insane.

    I don't want to say too much about my suicidial thoughts other than that I have all that is necessary to end it all in my house, plus I live on the 11th floor.......
    Trying to stay strong because life is not all bad all of the time (at the moment anyway but I dread the future) and I have met some people who have nothing but goodness in their hearts.... I tell myself every day that not everybody is mean and nasty :unsure:

    I have something coming up in the next 4 months or so which will decide my future and I dread it. Hence the OCD. When I'm left alone and no demands are made I'm better able to cope with the recurrent thoughts. I sometimes even defy them. But right now I'm not strong enough.
    I can't even talk about what's going to happen so as to not make it more real (although I know it won't go away by pretending it won't happen) so sorry for being so vague.

    I have an eating disorder too which will probably kill me. Slow suicide I guess.


    Well there's more but I guess this is enough for now

    Oh and I like to : :book:

    (I love these emoticons, I'm such a big kid :shy:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2007
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    haha im a big kid too!! *high fives*

    I'm glad you joined us and i hope you find some support here. Please take care and nice to meet a fellow big kid!! :laugh:

    Vikki x
     
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :welcome:
     
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. I am glad you finally decided to say hello so we could welcome you the right way. :hug:
     
  6. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. :hug:
     
  7. missdiana86

    missdiana86 Active Member

    i'm also a big kid...and love reading books..books never betray u and never hurt u :sad:
     
  8. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to SF

    glad you find that life isnt all bad, there can be some really great things worth living for. as for the future, i always try to think of the future as really cool, you can make it what you want and you can dream of it all the time. i get really excited about the future, its the journey there that scares me. just think of something you really want and take baby steps to make it happen. it can be really exhilirating to finally get there!
     
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