Hello everyone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Purple_One, Oct 5, 2009.

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  1. Purple_One

    Purple_One Member

    Just wanted to post something and just say hello to you all.

    Having a really tought time at the moment, and the horrible thoughts are back again. Got the old black dog snapping at my heels. Sick of living like this.
    they gave me meds to make me feel better, yet I don't feel any better at all.
    The meds just numb me, and I can't feel anything....so I drink too much to 'feel' something.
    Just so dead inside, can't even cry.

    This is the life I never envisaged having - yet I am so alone in life. Nobody cares. Nobody loves me, and I have no friends. I can go day to day without talking to anyone (not through choice I may add)
    I'm only here cos of my kids.
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    hey and welcome. :) i know how you feel with the meds, the drink and the loneliness. hope we can help you.
  3. Purple_One

    Purple_One Member

    necro, you avatar made me cry just now....it's how I feel right down to the core. It's just me, my beloved cat and my children.
    I've been on and off pills since 1995. Struggling with OD and depression since waaay back when I was a teen. I'm 36 now.
    I've OD'ed 4 times. Last time was 7 yrs ago, am lucky to be here as mixed anti d's with Diazepam.

    They put me on meds a few weeks ago, which triggered a long overdue majordepressive episode. had the thoughts, took myself up to hospital emergency. They gave me more pills and Diazepam. Broguht the lot home and had to throw it away as the thoughts would have made me take the lot.

    And as Mother Teresa once said 'Loneliness is the worst form of poverty'. I long for a cuddle or a hug or kiss. Just someone to tell me it's gonna be ok. My phone hasn't rung for ages, my parents disowned me and my best mate buggered off and never to be seen again.
    I could stand in a room packed full of people and I could scream....yet no one will hear me.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. i hope we can help dispel that lonely feeling. You don't have to feel alone. :hug:
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to the forum. It's nice to meet you. :shake:
  6. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF :hug:
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hope you can feel you are not alone now. I too cannot cry i wish i could but was taught doesn't help. Loneliness is the worst dam feeling and i am glad you found us Alot of people here care so reach out anytime
  8. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    im sorry my avatar upset you. :( im here if you need someone to talk to.
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.
  10. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome to Sf.
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