Hello Everyone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by malack, Feb 10, 2010.

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  1. malack

    malack Active Member

    Hello Everyone,
    I've been suicidal since I was 11 years old. I am not 16, and three failed attempts have passed since then. It seems things are getting worse and worse, and it has developed so that now I think about legitimately committing suicide at LEAST twice a day. I'm a girl obsessed with the thought of death...
    <mod edit-gentlelady-methods> I have a feeling my parents have been looking through my diary again, and this is what lead me here, as well as a referrence from a book about suicide. I feel like, maybe, just maybe, if I can connect, I can muster enough will to live, and I'll stop drowning in the desire to die.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2010
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    HI and welcome to the forum..
    do you know what's making you feel like you want to die and have you had professional help?
    sorry for all the questions....concerned for you..
  3. malack

    malack Active Member

    No, its alright. I came to this forum in hopes of connecting with someone, anyone, really.
    My parents deny me proffessional help, because, the simpliest way to put it is denial. Not only that, but they are very power hungry people with no sense of privacy. They feel that I'm being melodramatic, or that I'm being bad by feeling this way.
  4. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    That must feel like crap...only reason I don't get help is because I'm ashamed of myself :(. Plus if my mum decided to start hiding knives and everything I think that'd make me feel even worse(I wouldn't use general kitchen knives to cut unless I HAD to). I hope your parents have some sought of epiphany and come to their senses and get you the help you want and need :).
  5. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    first off i would like to say welcome to the forum. we're really glad you're here and feel like you can open up to us. then again i'm sure most if not all of us can relate.
    death is a tough one and i'm so sorry you feel like it's come down to this. there is something about the death topic or idea that becomes rather soothing maybe even addicting. i know i have turned to that idea way too much when in reality there really are so many other things we can do to help ourselves. problem there can be do we want to put forth that kind of effort do we feel we're worth it? as a woman with a lot of years and experience under her belt i believe with all my heart and soul everyone is worth it so much more than they will give themselves credit for. we didn't get the best messages while we were growing up and we tend to run with that, but that doesn't mean that it's true in fact very far from it.
    so please i would like to encourage you to think a little more about what other things are out because there really are so many more things and heck some of them can even be fun. you are worth more than you know and deserve the very best. please don't settle for anything less. because in the end the ideas you are having only leave everyone including yourself to lose and that's not fair to the world. please take care and if you would like to pm my box is always open. see ya around
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I am on both sides of the fence....I have suffered depression all my life and have just lost my son to suicide .....
    I wish I could tell your parents to wake up and get you some help....
    I begged my son to tell his doctor but he wouldn't..
    well done for trying to help yourself....joining this forum is the first step..
    are you able to talk to your parents and tell them how bad you are feeling and how serious you are and that you really need help to survive?...
    maybe talk to your doctor and he can then talk to your parents....
    you are so young and have a lot of living to do....
    please stay safe...
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi glad you reached out here lots of people who care. Can you phone the doctor on your own and get some help being that your 16 I think sometimes it is hard for parents to understand the emotions of a teenager how deep they can go. If talking does not work try writing out on paper what you feel and give it to your mom. Tell her you need to see just your GP even to get on medication just to help you through rough spots We are listening here and we care keep posting okay vent here.
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am glad you are exploring your options and have chosen to seek out help. Sometimes you can get an appointment and see the doc without your parents being with you. You may explore this option. I am not sure where you from so can't say for sure. We will do what we can to support you. Please take care and stay safe. :hug:
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Malack, welcome to the forums!
  10. Well, you don't have to look no further :) *points to myself* lol
  11. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    hello Malack, welcome aboard!
  12. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.

    I've first felt suicidal at 11 too (I didn't really realise it at the time though). Things got better at 12, then eventually I started crashing again. Pffff....

    Sorry about your parents. Honestly, I think ignoring a suicidal child should be a crime, it's cruel and lazy. It's very brave of you to reach out like this.
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums... There is a spot on here where you can start your own diary.. Both public where others can read what you wrote and private so only you can see whats in there..I hope we can support you so you aren't so down on yourself...Take care!!
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