hello everyone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by dannyleno, Sep 27, 2010.

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  1. dannyleno

    dannyleno Member

    a few words about me

    I was abused as a kid and left home at 16 and went into a life of alcohol, drug abuse and crime. I was often taken advantage of and did many things that if I had a healthier sense of self I wouldn't have done. at 23 i was diagnosed with hiv and thought i was going to die a horrible lonely death. that was 24 years ago and i am still healthy and strong. touch wood.

    I have spent the last 47 years self harming and frequently thinking of ending it. Luckily i have kept going - I now have a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter that I love with all my heart. They keep me going and when i sometimes think of killing myself I think of them and the pain it would cause them and that gives me the strength to keep going. In the words of AA its one day at a time for me.

    I qualified as a counsellor/psychotherapist in 2004 and I find the work of helping others helps me. the wounded healer is an archetype i can relate to.

    If anyone is thinking about hurting or killing themselves please talk to me first. I have so been there and feel that life can be so much more.

    theres a lot more i can say about my life but for now I want to keep it simple. I just want to say that I know what it's like to be lonely, fucked up and desperate and believing that it will never get better since i spent many years in this state.

    what i want to say is don't give up - things can change and often we can get locked into seeing things in a very one sided way that can lead us down some very dark paths.

    i dont think suicide is wrong - i just think its a very serious decision that has to be taken with a lot of thought.

    If i can help anyone that will make me happy. in the words of the dalai lama we make ourselves happy by trying to be of service to others. I live by this teaching and I am more than happy to try to help or support anyone that is feeling lonely and desperate. email or message me and I will do all i can to help.

    I wish you all the best and hope you can find a way out of the darkness

  2. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    Thanks for joining the community! Your insight and story was really touching. I'm glad you're here.
  3. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to SF, and sorry you're here. You have a family and if you love them then you must think what will happen if you're gone. I know you have hiv, but as you said you're still in good health. Take that chance to be with your family.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks for sharing a part of you that must of been a very hard life to get thru.
    I am happy your life is better now I too believe in helping others helps oneself
    some. um nice to have you here take care okay.
  5. SnowFallenAngel

    SnowFallenAngel Well-Known Member

    Hi Danny and welcome:pinkrose:

    Thank you for sharing. I am sorry for what has happened to you.
    I hope you find help here and peace in your heart.

    I am new too, so just trying to find my way around.

    Snow xxxxx
  6. dannyleno

    dannyleno Member

    thanks everyone - as it happens things seem pretty good right now. i feel strong and confident and in a good place. could do with some more money but who couldn't.

    i think all my suffering has made me a stronger person - im clearer about the boundaries between me and others which for a long time i wasn't. i guess that comes from a childhood of abuse where its hard to foster a real sense of positive selfhood.

    as for the hiv - with the drugs nowadays people expect to live a normal lifespan so things seem better than they did 20 years ago.

    i ve been very moved by some of the posts on here and my heart goes out to anyone in pain. if i have anything to say to you its hold on, things can get better - often in unexpected ways.

    im happy to chat on messenger or email me if anyone is feeling desperate. theres been lots of people who have helped me so i want to give something back. :IrishDoll:

    big hug to anyone who needs it

  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am glad you have found yourself to be in a healthier place at this time and life has taken a turn for the better. It is always refreshing to hear that no matter how bad things get, hope exists. Thank you for sharing a bit about your life and current situation. I hope that our members can benefit from your experiences and you, in turn, can benefit from theirs. Take care. :hug:
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome Danny...I'm so glad you feel the need to help others and i agree with you..helping others can help ourselves...
    what better teacher than living the life of hard knocks ..
  9. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Don't Quit!

    Dear Dannyleno - welcome in our midst. I could agree with you more on some of the things you are saying and especially on the above.

    When things go wrong, as they sometimes will;
    When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill;
    When funds are low and debts are high;
    And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
    When care is pressing you down more than a bit,
    Rest, if you must, but don’t ever quit.

    Life can be queer with its twists and turns,
    As every one of us sometimes learns.
    But many a failure can turn about,
    And we could be winning, if only we stick things out.
    Don’t give up, even if the pace appears to be slow.
    You may succeed, with just one more blow!

    Success is failure turned inside out;
    It’s the silver tint on the clouds of doubt.
    And you never can tell how close to it you are,
    It could be near, when it still seems very far!
    So, stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit.
    And when things seem at their worst.
    That’s the time when it’s most unwise to quit.


    The way I see it, when things sometimes seemingly go wrong in our lives, it is always us who are out of step with the Universe and not the other way round. It is then more than likely that the energies that it is currently putting at our disposal wish to tell a different story and are trying to steer us into a different direction. If one seems to run into one invisible wall after another, when obstacle after obstacle rears its head, it is a safe bet that the Universe is attempting to give us a message that somehow we are barking up the wrong tree; and it may well be the case that it has something much better up its sleeve for us, if we but pay attention.

    The world around us is always a mirror of what is taking place within us. Through its actions and reactions it is constantly trying to give us some kind of guidance. Therefore, it is always worth our while to pay attention to what is after all Universal guidance. When things are not going the way we would want them to, the time may have come for taking stock and for finding ways of getting back into harmony with ourselves and the lessons we have come to learn during this lifetime. To help us re-align our energies to those of the Universe, the time for making a change of direction in our lives may have come.

    It almost goes without saying, but I will mention it anyway that because we have freedom of choice, we do not have to do anything of the kind. Yet, if you are a wise one, you will pay attention to whatever guidance comes your way. So, next time things seemingly go wrong in your life, why not try your hand at something else and look towards channelling your energies into different avenues of expression?

    You can save yourself many disappointments by bearing in mind that doors will only ever open for anyone when they are meant to. And when one of them does, the experience can be like something one usually sees only in funny films. Having so got used to pushing and shoving uselessly at far too many doors, there may well come the moment, when – metaphorically speaking – we have found the right one. It then flies open so suddenly that it feels as if one was almost shooting out through the window, at the other end of the room. Why not try it out for yourself, sometime?

    True trust and faith in ourselves, our life and the Universe can only grow in anyone through first hand experiences, like the one that is now before us. To enable us to learn to trust, when we try one door and it will not open for us, no matter how hard we try, when things seem to be going wrong, as they sometimes will, it is worth our while to reflect and have a bit of a dialogue with ourselves; something like this: ‘Let me see, this door is obviously not meant for me, maybe the Universe has something else for me in mind. So, I’ll be patient and wait for another opening, for come it will. Are things really going wrong in my life or is the Universe trying to give me a message that I need a change of direction?

    ‘Could this be happening for my own good and because the Universe loves me and knows my true wants and needs better than I do? Could it be protecting me against myself, because it wants me to find what is rightfully mine? Is it possible that something better is in store for me, something I might not have imagined even in my wildest dreams? Perhaps it would be better if I waited patiently for a while; maybe another chance will then come my way. Now, isn’t that better than despairing or even swearing at the Universe because it does not seem to wish to fulfil my wishes? Because I am your child, Universe, let me try the loving way instead. Alright, here I go! I love you and trust you, as you love and trust me. After all, that makes an awful lot of sense, you know!’

    And when funds are low and debts are high, I need to ask myself: ‘Why am I not taking part in the Universe’s abundance? Is it because I am not sharing my own abundance with it, my gifts and talents, of which we all have many, with those around me? How can I increase my input into life, so that I can get more out of it? Do I need to be less selfish and think more about the good of the whole of society, life, the planet and the Universe? Why don’t I try and see what happens?’

    From 'Healers and Healing' ‘Healers and Healing’

    With love - Aquarius

  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Danny!!
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