Hola, my name's... well it's not Plisken, both that and my username form the complete codename of the main character from John Carpenter's "Escape from New York", and my avatar is Solid Snake from the videogame Metal Gear. But enough trivia for now... well actually no, my real name is a two year old Lady Gaga hit. Ok enough. I may look cheerful, but I'm suicidal. But it's strange, sometimes I want to kill myself out of misery and deppresion, as far as I can remember, ever since I was like 7 years old I wanted to die. But other times, I'm having a good time and then I suddenly want to end it all, die and never regain concioussness again. I suffer from social anxiety, sometimes I even get stomach aches just by being around people in a social gathering. Ironically, I have no problems while performing in front of 200+ people in a play. I guess because as an actor, I get into the character, so I'm not me but somebody else. I decided to join these forums because not everytime I have someone to hear me out, and those few who hear me have lives of their own... not saying you guys don't but we share a common struggle, my friends and family don't. And since I don't take any drugs, when I'm truly deppresed I resort to drink heavily, like I did last weekend. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't want to be, but if I keep up with that stuff, I know I'll end up worse. I think this introduction is long enough, I already met some of the guys in the chat last night, I hope you all have a wonderful day and points up if you figured out my real name!