Hello Everyone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Kurayami, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. Kurayami

    Kurayami New Member

    Up until recently i've been able to control myself but things just keep getting worse and out of hand. I have repressed memories coming up and i'm getting lost and i feel alone.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Hello Kurayami, I'm glad you joined us here on SF. I'm sorry that you feel lost and alone, but here you will find a lot of friends. Everyone cares and is very supportive. Feel free to keep posting and tell us what's going on with you. We will be more than happy to help.
     
  3. Welcome to the forum, Richard. Please tell us what has happened. :hug:
     
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Richard, pleased to meet you. Is that Kentucky? I've a daughter there (Shepherdsville) :smile: Medication for memories..... that's what we need! The best thing is to keep talking it through, find a person you trust to share them with and bring them into the light, and explore with that person what might be a new insight about each memory. Makes sense? Blessings and strength :reub:
     
  5. Kurayami

    Kurayami New Member

    Yes it is Kentucky, i've been to Sheperdsville a few times. As for my memories, when i was 8 years old there was a girl who i cared for deeply, and i still do, but her home life was horrible . Her father was abusive and her mother was not much different. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore and one day i went to her house to be with her and found her with her wrists cut in the bathtub. After seeing all of the blood and her small body just laying there i passed out and up until a couple years ago i had no recollection of it. I've always been different and have had panic attacks and doctors didn't know why so i was put on many medications and a young age. i recently found out that because of the traumatic experience i developed schizophrenia at a young age. Because of my schizophrenia i sometime see and hear her and it causes me to have a severe panic attack and i've stabbed myself many times while in this state. i usually can keep myself under control but recently i've lost hold and i fear that sometime soon i could go insane and kill myself or someone else. i dont want to hurt anyone by my death nor someone elses.
     
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I am so very sorry to hear about what happened to your friend, and that you found her, it must have been awful for you at such an impressionable age. I totally identify with your symptoms and your troublesome thoughts, and from what you can read on SF we are very much - not alone. Life can be so cruel, and the worst about it is that innocent children suffer because of their surroundings and parents (when they are abusive). I truly have experienced some measure of healing from stuff such as this - and the first step - that of reaching out for advice and guidance you've done already. The folks here are very loving and sincere and will be hear to listen all of the time.

    You don't say how old you are, - but whatever age, there is help. Are you under a doctor's care and medication at all? Have you spoken face-2-face with a counsellor?
    Sending you all my best thoughts and wishes,
    You Are Precious
     
  7. Kurayami

    Kurayami New Member

    I am 18. I cant take most medications because they make it worse. the only thing that ever worked was taking Prozac every 12 hours but the doctors said it is too much for my system. i dont see a consular because im paranoid that they'll put me into a mental ward again. thank you for being so nice, it make me happier to have people care.
     
  8. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honey, we care because we do not like to see people in pain - and sometimes all it takes is for people to know there is someone who really cares. I know ppl really did care about me (although no one actually said the things I was really wanting to hear - such as "you're not crazy"!) and helped to pull me through - so I know how vital it is - even if we are thousands of miles away. Is Henderson very far from Shepherdsville? I suppose I could Google it...... I'm just thinking, a talk with my daughter might help if you feel you want to see someone - she has a counselling diploma and is a very caring person.

    Oh, and no worries about her putting you in a mental ward, she wouldn't do anything like that
     
  9. Kurayami

    Kurayami New Member

    its about 2.5 hours away. i think a lot of the reasons why im feeling this way is i'm afraid to get to know people in person so i avoid them, which is why ever since i moved here i haven't made any friends. im afraid to get attached and lose them or get abandoned. not everyone i've met takes kindly to the fact that i sometimes see and talk to hallucinations, so im afraid that if i try to get to know someone they'll make fun of me or become disgusted.
     
  10. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honey..... if anyone knew my dark side, I fear that too.......... so we do our best to keep it hidden. However, it is what is causing our pain, and the trick is - WHAT is going to take the pain away?? It makes it harder for us to deal with if we conclude that the answer is 'Nothing'.

    The good news is that it actually is NOT true that there is nothing..... and I do believe that this site provides a way for caring folks to come alongside you and help you walk through the process of discovering it. It IS a process - not a miracle cure - BUT it IS better than trying to deny what is going on inside and feeling you have to cover it up all the time or people will be too hard on you - I know that is a very real fear. So, it's like minds that can help like minds :smile:

    Keep writing down your thinking, and come to terms with the fact that the only person (with some help and encouragement) who can change your thinking is yourself, by giving you permission to learn how to make your mind your best friend.

    Blessings and strength, and all good thoughts sent your way. You Are Precious :smile:
     
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