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Hello, everything

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I am going through a lot of depression right now. This isn't the first time; I can't seem to get it unraveled. It started with a death in the family, but even after I got over that, it continued.

I wish I could post under the bullying section, but I am not a student or a kid. I was working, and people were talking behind my back and even screaming at me in the work room and at lunch. I didn't quit because I'd signed contracts.

Later, I started getting mean emails, and eventually had a meeting with the person who was doing a lot of this, a meeting with my boss. She screamed at me and called me the weakest link in front of my boss. He didn't do anything and said couldn't I see why she was upset. I was really sick a lot.

To make a long story short, I was advised to take a leave of absence, which I did, because I was walking in to work to more of this from other people and I couldn't handle it anymore. Now I am not working I don't know what to do next, I chose not to sign another contract because I was shocked and terrified. I don't know if I can ever put my life back together.


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Litehouse, Welcome to SF. I'm glad that you found the forum - as I'm glad I found the forum.

What I noticed in your post that had similarities to my situation is that you found yourself intertwined with people who are toxic to you - for whatever reason.

So many of our problems are caused by these toxic people - it reminds me of an old fable that really registered with me 25 years or so ago. I'll try and retell it.

The Sun and the Wind were having a coffee break, and the Sun was enjoying the afternoon. The Wind was blustering about how tough he was, of all of the elements, he was king. The Sun let him bloviate, just enjoying the day.

When the Wind couldn't get a rise out of the sun, he said "Sun, I challenge you to a duel!" The Sun thought, oh jeesh, what now. So the Sun rose to the occasion and said "What is it Wind, how would you challenge me?"

The Wind looked down at the ground and said "Do you see that man with the coat on? Whichever one of us can get his coat from him shall be the victor." The Sun said "OK, I'll take the challenge, Wind".

The Wind, going first, starts with strong gusts. He gets the mans coat blowing all about him. The harder that Wind blew, however, the harder the man held on to his coat. Finally, after many minutes of gales, Wind stops, unsuccessful.

Sun says "Are you finished?". Wind says, "Yes, it's like it is glued to him, there is no getting that coat away from him".

Sun says "Yes, I see that". The Sun starts out nice, and slowy shines brighter. As he slowly turns up his light, it is a beautiful day. Wind looks down in astonishment as the man, smiling and looking up, takes his coat off and lays it down beside him.

Often we find ourselves surrounded by too much Wind, and not enough Sun.

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