Hi I am a 44 year old gay lady and have been struggling with suicidal ideation since I was in my teens. Over the years, I have had periods of suicidal attempts but also periods of complacency. I cannot recall ever being happy, I go through life "tolerating" whatever happens and ultimately I guess I have always known that one day I will successfully end my life so, I guess this has also affected how I view the future. I was diagnosed with MS 2 years ago and since then, things have been a constant struggle. I have been very depressed and my suicidal thoughts are becoming more constant and I am finding that each day, I have to convince myself that I will face another day and not end my life today. I don't know how much longer I can hold on for the sake of my family......that is the only reason why I am still here. Thanks for listening.