Well, let me be the first to welcome you to this ray of light. It helps to talk to others. We all have problems, we all have weaknesses and we all support each other. This is the nicest forum on the web (we've probably won some award for niceness by now).
Try to get involved with the various threads and explain what's troubling you. And there are even some threads that are positive and up and might make you feel better.
Anyway, Hi there.