Hi everyone, I'm gimpy. I named myself that because I vaguely remember some quote about how we do ourselves a disservice when we sit around waiting to heal 100% from our wounds, that we need to feel free to go ahead and drag our gimpy butts down the street and get on with our lives, bruises and broken limbs at all. I guess that's the kind of courage I'm looking for right now, to find the strength to drag my gimpy ass down the street. Today has been a rough one for me. I first struggled with suicidal feelings since around the age of 14, and I've been pretty constantly depressed and frequently suicidal since I was about 18 (I'm 28 now). Things have been pretty bad lately. I think it's been exacerbated by an almost year long off/on relationship with a guy who's been really unsuportive. Sometimes I think he just doesn't have the foggiest clue what's going on, no matter how much I try to explain it to him. He can say make really, really comments about my mental state when he's angry though. Anyway, depression and anxiety have pretty much consumed my life. I haven't been able to hold down a job sucessfully for some time. I was married to a man who was the main breader winner breifly. Since our seperation my family hass been supporting me, though I need to find other arrangements soon. I don't socialize much, I don't want my old friends to see how pathetic I must seem. So yeah, not much of a life. Hoping to gradually be able to take some steps towards getting into school and eventually working in health care. So that's my goal anyway. I'm on waiting list for free therapy. But it's probably going to be a few more weeks. I'm hoping these boards will help me get through.