Hello and thank you in advance for your time. I don't know how I got to this point in my life but I have. I think about suicide everyday, I spend the majority of each day trying not to cry and trying to convince myself that this life is worth living. With everything I've been through in life I've always thought I was a survivor but maybe I'm not. I've lost everyone I love, I'm alienated from everyone in my life and find that the only reason I stay alive is because I'm afraid that if I commit suicide whoever ends up having to deal with my body will hate me. I know I'm not the only one out there living this way and I'm not so naive to think that my life couldn't get any worse... I guess the reason I am reaching out now is to hopefully learn what I have failed so miserably at figuring out myself... I would love more than anything to believe that there is hope for me, to believe that peace is a possibility. I'm afraid that if I admit to anyone in my life what has happened to me over the last four years that it will only drive them further away. I am willing to accept criticism, and am willing to be honest about my experiences... If anyone has any words of wisdom, I wouldnbe eternally grateful.