Hi, I have decided to commit suicide to end all the pain. I understand why some people try to help others who are suicidal because as its been said before, "suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems". But what if you were using suicide for a permanent solution to a permanent problem...this is my situation. I do not know where to go so I have just decided to share my thoughts here. Basically...when i was 8 years old a demented dentist decided to remove 8 permanent teeth, he wasnt supposed to do that. This caused a plethera of problems that my parents weren't even able to pick up on. Basically, after removing that many teeth my mouth became so small that it obstructed my sleep, and slowed my growing alot. I am now 18, Ive been told that I look very young for my age. I have found out that I have human growth hormone deficiency because of poor sleep during my teen years. I am now 18. The reason that I have decided to commit suicide is because I could've been something in life, as a child I was very good looking, very smart, and always imagined a great future for myself. The problems this dentist gave me though are that I am short, my body resembles a females, very skinny with wide hips and very narrow shoulders, my face looks plain weird since it barely went through any growth after the removal of teeth at 8 years old. I have a very receded mouth, and an even more receded chin. I've been told that I look like im 12 years old. Now, all this wouldn't be a problem if people accepted the way people looked. But this is not the case. All I ever wanted was to have a partner in life who I could love and who would love me. I did have this, I was dating a beautiful 24 year old girl. I guess she always thought I was a late bloomer and that I would grow later on. We were planning marriage and everything...(i'm extremely mature for my age its just I dont look it!) When I realized I had this condition and that I wouldn't mature anymore I decided to end the relationship. It was a very bad breakup as we loved each other so much and I couldnt even tell her that I was "sick" so I told her I needed to move on and find someone new. She was devastated but I know she'll be happier in the long run. She doesn't deserve to be 30 years old and be walking around with someone who looks like a preteen. And I know that once I get older, I will never be able to get any women because the fact of the matter is that women dont date guys who look like prepubescent boys. My problem is so unique and its been im my thoughts for every single second that i endure on this planet. I just want this all to end. I could've been something, but it is now too late. I hate life. How could there be a God if he lets people screw up others so much. I would kill the dentist that did this to me but he has fled the country because so many people sue'd him... Anyway I dont know when I will commit suicide but I want to die before I reach 20 years old. It's still kind of ok to look young at 18, but once I get older 20's 30s 40s i would just be a walking talking freak. This is all I have for now, thank you to all who took the time to read this, and have a wonderful day.