Hello Mania

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by BelovedDreamer, Nov 7, 2007.

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  1. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    Hello Mania,
    If I dropped the pills
    made my body flush
    with illegality and smoke
    would you come to visit?
    I liked your energy
    that time you visited
    with you around
    I felt so alive.
    I wanted to die
    but I knew with you by my side
    I’d explode in some beautiful colors.
    Don’t tell my doctor,
    he wouldn’t approve.
    Don’t tell my friends
    because I almost lost them last time
    they don’t approve of our relationship
    Don’t tell me no
    pull a no show
    and send your Hot Topic brother in your stead.
    He and I don’t get along
    so much take
    and absolutely no give.
    No, no
    he snaps at my friends
    or goes selectively mute
    and he has no appreciation
    for the finer things in life.
    Plus I think he has a drinking problem.
    Mania, Mania, Mania
    you’re so addictive.
    Sometimes you remind me of your sibling
    you make very straight lines
    and my money takes cruises to the Bermuda triangle,
    but wow, what a rush.
    You make me feel like all the things I’ve wanted to be.
    Confident, capable,
    curvy, not fat.
    Now now, you’re just hypo, I know.
    No leaping buildings in a single bound,
    but baby, you and me, we can shake the world.
    It’s okay that you’re a night owl,
    I don’t mind too much.
    This constant sedation, drowsiness
    it’s just not for me.
    Besides, the sunrise is beautiful this time of year.
    You’ve got a lot of baggage
    tricky memories,
    dubious decisions,
    something in a floral print
    and a hangnail in a black button-up,
    but I’m still proud of some of some of the things we
    attempted? together.
    There was some pretty risky business in there
    put myself on the line
    and secretly I think I did a surprisingly good performance
    for a duck out of water.
    Oh Mania
    I burned with you
    thrummed with you
    you taught the meaning of obsession,
    from the latin—to be besieged
    but such a battle.
    People keep telling me it was my Waterloo
    and though they may be right
    —damn retrospect—
    I was feeling all Vercingetorix,
    and it felt,
    that elevator ride at the amusement part
    you’re screaming bloody murder
    which the people on the ground can’t hear,
    you feel like you just might die,
    but you throw up your arms and do an adrenaline dance
    because you knew it was a risk when you strapped yourself in
    and hell, even if you hit the ground,
    danger elevating to deadly malfunction
    baby, you flewwwww on the way there.
    So don’t tell anyone,
    this is just between the two of us,
    but I really do miss you sometimes.
  2. lulu rose

    lulu rose Guest

    That was really touching. I have no idea what it's about, but it was beautiful.

    I have my thoughts. I thinks it's about drugs, but then again could it be about a relationship lost? because isn't love just a drug in itself?
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    dearly beloved dreamer,

    like all your works, this one is gorgeous. I wish I had your ability with words and feelings.

  4. D-rock

    D-rock Member

    Wow BelovedDreamer this was the first poem of yours that I read, and I hope to read many more, the way you put words is really lovely... Thank you for sharing your work.
  5. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    It's about the addictive aspect of the mania that can be part of depression. Mostly regarding a slightly more functional form (sort of a lesser version) of mania known as hypomania (it doesn't have the more "psychotic" characteristics, i.e. you don't think you can fly). These are periods which can be characterized by aspects which can be both good and detrimental, i.e. the person can have lots of energy, decreased need for sleep, increased confidence, tendency to obsess, attention-issues, rapid speech/thought, etc. Guessing at drugs isn't far off (I referenced drug use in the beginning bx sometimes it can bring on depressive/manic episodes)-- being manic can feel like being high. Like anything is possible, your sense of reality becomes off-kilter, you can feel simply more confident and powerful and energized (manic people often feel euphoric and even other people can perceive them as charismatic). A lot of famous creative types have been suspected or known to be prone to manic/hypomanic states. Unfortunately, during these states people can also end up damaging their lives. They go on spending sprees. They can be irritable or can focus on an obsession to the point of alienating loved ones. Inhibitions can go out the window, which can be freeing and but also have consequences. The feeling can be so euphoric that it can be sort of tempting to go off medication to experience the "high" of mania again. I've been there, felt the thrill of it, but also experienced the depression that followed, and the pain of surveying the mess I'd made of my life once I was put on medication and could see "clearly" again. Some days though I look back and I remember what it felt like and miss feeling invincible. I accomplished some things which I normally would have been too afraid to attempt and which I am proud of, but at the same time, I damaged some of my friendships pretty badly.

    Thanks for the encouragement! :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2007
  6. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Wow, brilliant piece! I've yet to see another like it.

  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Brilliant! :heart:
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