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Hello. My first post here.

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The date of my death has been set and I look foward to the completion of my destiny a few months from now. This is a decision I have made not out of any emotion whatsoever, but by sheer logic alone. By reason and rationalisation this is the decision I must take. It feels like I have set a date for a holiday, I am that excited. I hope I have the courage when required.

This world is beautiful. I love animals and I love nature. I know there are some beautiful people in this world but I seem to bring out the worst in people. I am the problem. If it was my circumstances that were the problem maybe I could leave for new circumstances and a new environment. But I am the problem. I can't escape me.

I worked hard in the belief that suicide was for the weak. I struggled on with courage and determination for many years believing it was more noble to fight on against adversity. Now I see nothing more glorious than closing the curtains, turning the lights off and saying goodbye.

I have no hate. I have no love. There is no-one here but me. I speak to no-one. There never was anyone.

Life can be great, I am sure of that. But no matter how hard one tries destiny cannot be changed.

When I think of suicide I do not sit here with tearful eyes. I do not think of what I will have lost and what wonderful things I will never see again or people I will leave. When i think of suicide I think of all of the things I will never have to subject myself to again. This makes me smile.
Welcome to SF, hun. I am sorry you are having so much trouble and pain, but I hope you reconcider.. there's help out there.. there really is. I'm here if you'd like to talk hun. :hug: :hug: :hug:
Welcome to SF, hun. I am sorry you are having so much trouble and pain, but I hope you reconcider.. there's help out there.. there really is. I'm here if you'd like to talk hun. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thanks Carolyn that was really unexpected!

I am not in pain. I am looking foward to this. I just hope I have the courage to do the act.

I don't want help like counselling. I don't want to burden. I just wanted to speak to people who could relate to me on this issue.

It's like, I walk down the street and I see someone walking down the path, and I literally jump off the path into the mud so that the stranger does not have to endure the hell of walking past me.

I really don't fit in anywhere

I am so worthless. Its time to call it day.

p.s I like your cat.
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Well-Known Member
Hi Incognito, I'm sure that others have been where you are right now. Suicide is never the answer and we are here to help you get through this difficult period. You can IM me at rayden291 at yahoo dot com if U need to chat with someone. All problems can be overcome with persistence and time.


SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hello Guy.:smile: I'm also sorry you're so determined to take your own life. I have thought of the same option also, many times, but have finally decided that I will not inflict my pain and misery on those I love: my family and friends. I have known several people who committed suicide and in every case the relatives and friends left behind never really got over it. It is a constant regret, feeling of guilt, and a great burden to those left behind. I won't do that to those I love no matter how badly I feel. I hope you can come to reconsider your decision. I believe that every life is worth saving.

I hope you can make some friends here in our international community.:smile:

:welcome: to SF guy. And yes, There are others that have been in your situation and feel as you do. Keep posting. I know you will find many people to talk to. :hug:
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