Hello everyone. I am new to this place. I recently lost almost all of the things most important to me in my life: my best friend and other friends, the flat I loved so much, my beautiful boyfriend, my adopted city.. Everything is gone.. due to unavoidable circumstances.. I was so happy, wondrously happy. I'd been happy before of course but this was a whole different sort of happiness I didn't realize existed. And now, just like that, it's over and there is nothing I can do to change it. It hurts so much. I just have no motivation to do anything anymore. I'm OK sometimes but the days seem so long now, I can be fine one hour and awful the next, and the hours go on and on. Whenever someone says 'oh you have so much more of your life to live' it sounds like a prison sentence. I don't want to go on like this and I often feel it would be best to just end the pain. My boyfriend told me I have to be strong and brave now but I'm not strong enough to deal with this :/ It hurts more knowing we still love each other and would be together if we could. I miss so many little things about my old life, from knowing he was there as I fell asleep, to daily little texts about nothing from my friends, to the simple happiness I felt stepping out of my lovely flat into my beloved neighborhood. It's not fair and I can't believe it's all gone. Each day is a struggle and I just have no will to live anymore..