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Hello, newbie alert...

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Hello. I'm 16, and have major depression. I'm currently taking citalopram hydrobromide, and have been on fluoxetine which made everything so much worse. Im due to start counseling on Wednesday, and I'm terrified.

I found this page while googling self harm, at which point I was quite distressed. I've been contemplating suicide all week, and know how I'd do it. I have the resources... I'm also struggling with self harming urges, and don't know how much longer...

My back story? Well... I've been bullied since I was five. I've lost two grandparents and a dog to cancer. My aunts going the same way in roundabout six months. Last year I was sexually abused. I'm still getting bullied. My depression is so bad that suicide is always at the back of my mind.

I'm fed up with life, and want to give up. I have no friends anymore, and well.. Dont see the point in living anymore. I've lost the will to live. I keep reaching and reaching, giving and giving. I've talked numerous people out of suicide, but right now, that's all I want to do...

Does anybody care anymore? :'(

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Welcome to SF hun you need to tell your doctor that the medication is making you worse okay so it can be changed to something that will make you feel better. sometimes the meds have to be changed up some :hugtackles::hugtackles:
people do care, your perceptions aren't working right just now, which is why it seems like they don't. If strangers care (like the people here do) then the people around you definately care. I hope you can find some people to talk to here, I hope you can start to feel a bit better. *hugs*


Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
Hello, Welcome to the forums.. Fairybread suicide is not the answer.. Seeing a therapist is the wise choice.. It will take some time on boyh your parts.. They will teach you coping skills.. Theres nothing to be afraid of.. You can talk as much as you want to per session.. Or you can listen while they talk.. You always have us.. We're like a whole new family to you.. Plenty of friendly peeps here..Take care!!
Thanks for the responses, and sorry I didnt respond... I went to my doc, and told him. He doubled the dose and said if it doesn't work I may have to go up to the hospital to talk to a psychiatrist there.... *is scared*


Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Hi, Lauren/Fairybread, and welcome to SF. :hug: I'm glad to hear you went to your doc. Nothing to be scared of if you have to talk to a psychiatrist. They're just doctors with specialized knowledge about how humans think and feel and about meds for the brain. :)
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