Hi everyone I am fourteen years old and sometimes I really feel like a mess. I have emetophobia, social anxiety, depression, anxiety provoking perfectioism, major self esteem and trust problems, I cut and have lots of other small phobias (like mirrors, not waking up from my alarm clock,etc.)
At the moment I am not suicidal but in the past few years I have had thoughts of suicide everyday and in the past few months I have hit serious suicidal lows four times. My best friend knows everything there is to know about me and the guidance counsellor at my school has recently become a huuuge help, I see her nearly everyday.
I dont tell my mom hardly anything about me because even though we are close I have so much social anxiety I have trouble verbally speaking to anyone so the only person who knows what I go through is my one best friend. I think I am really weak, lame and a total freak sometimes because I feel like I shouldnt have these big problems with no big cause but my guidance counsellor is always reassuring me that its not my fault and I am not a freak but I just cant make myself believe it very often. I hate everything about the way I look, speak and act and whenever somehting bad happens no matter how nonrelated to the problem I am I find some way to blame it on myself.
I was hoping that I could find some help and support on here for people who may be in similar situations as me because right now I am pretty much on my own and I am just spiraling down fast and Im not sure where to go from here.
Sorry for the really long depressing sounding intro I guess I am just putting it all out there...sorry
At the moment I am not suicidal but in the past few years I have had thoughts of suicide everyday and in the past few months I have hit serious suicidal lows four times. My best friend knows everything there is to know about me and the guidance counsellor at my school has recently become a huuuge help, I see her nearly everyday.
I dont tell my mom hardly anything about me because even though we are close I have so much social anxiety I have trouble verbally speaking to anyone so the only person who knows what I go through is my one best friend. I think I am really weak, lame and a total freak sometimes because I feel like I shouldnt have these big problems with no big cause but my guidance counsellor is always reassuring me that its not my fault and I am not a freak but I just cant make myself believe it very often. I hate everything about the way I look, speak and act and whenever somehting bad happens no matter how nonrelated to the problem I am I find some way to blame it on myself.
I was hoping that I could find some help and support on here for people who may be in similar situations as me because right now I am pretty much on my own and I am just spiraling down fast and Im not sure where to go from here.
Sorry for the really long depressing sounding intro I guess I am just putting it all out there...sorry