Hello, I am a 26 year old male, and I have been working in the call center field for 5 years now. I recently just got a new job at a technical support call center for Comcast, inbound customer service support for internet and phone service. I have been living on my own, I have my own place, for over 2 years now. have a fun music hobby and great friends. I live alone. I have been deeply suicidal for as long as i could remember. I practice yoga on a daily basis, and I also exercise, drink lots of herbal teas and eat healthy. But I see only darkness, lies, fallacies, fake people in today's overpopulated society. I have recently started cutting myself to relieve stress, only when I am at work, and it really does help relieve my stress at the heat of the moment, as it releases serotonin into the brain and adrenaline from the cortisol. I use an exacto to do it, I mainly cut my upper wrist on my left arm, not deep though. Although sometimes i have to cut deep to feel more adrenaline, depending on the level of stress. Please don't say stupid shit like, "Oh, you need to get out of that job", because it's working surrogate activities, jobs that I have no desire to perform, that induce a strong sense of malaise inside of me. Knowing that I am "locked in", having to work mindless jobs just to earn money to afford a damn living, it's a paradox for me. I have to degenerate inside just to live and replenish myself. I am on Cipralex medication, it does whatever it does.. I don't even fuckin' know anymore, and i shouldn't really care BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO FUCKING TAKE MEDICATION JUST TO SUSTAIN AN INNER BALANCE WITHIN THEMSELVES, ALL BECAUSE SOCIETY AND THE FUNDAMENTAL MECHANISMS OF THE SYSTEM ARE THE ROOT CAUSE OF ALL PEOPLE'S DEPRESSION, WHEN WILL PEOPLE SEE THAT WE ARE NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM, BUT IT IS THE MERE "MISMATCH" OF OUR OVERCROWDED, HIGH DEMANDING SOCIETY VERSUS OUR VERY SPECIES. WE WERE NOT BIOLOGICALLY PRIMED TO INTAKE SUCH NEGATIVE/DEMANIND FORCES UPON US FOR THE SAKE OF FUCKING PROFIT. IT IS CAPITALISM THAT HAS DESTROYED THE MINDS OF THOSE AFFECTED. We live in a society where morality is bascially dictated by statistics, fake people, public small talk, always a deep sense of alienation and ostracism when out in public places. Most fucking people portray a "mask", or an "on stage character", just to get by.. The very social fabric of our mainstream soceity is so fucking fragmented due to CAPITALISM and the COMPETITION it pre-wires into the minds of people from childhood!! This world is absolutely backwards... and CAPITALISM MUST FALL.. It is because of this, we choose to abuse ourselves, abandone social interactions, because many of us intuitively sense that something is deeply amiss... It never seemed right i awlays thoguht. Even when i was a young child, i had a great childhood, loving parents, I was in great health and had alot of good social attention from my family, but I always sense this deep sense "wrong" in the world around me.