Well, here I am. I'll try not to bore you all with my life-story rant but in short by best friend since 7th grade killed himself three years ago. We were both 21. It's been the worst three years of my life since then. My world basically fell apart. I fell apart. There have been ups and downs, depression and joy but mostly sadness. I don't have very many friends anymore. My family and my wife are very supportive though. I don't have a lot of people I can talk to about this and I can't hold it in any longer. Hence, I joined this website. I used to want to kill myself too but mostly, I feel like a victim of my friend's suicide. It makes me sad. I mean, I'm a lot better than what I used to be but it's never something you get over. At any moment I could break out in tears. It makes me an introvert anti-social and I don't like the things I used to. I have no motivation. Just doing homework is SO difficult. My friend's suicide has made me a completely different person. I feel weak. idk. I just have to learn to live with this and take one day at a time. I don't know how much sense this all makes but regardless, I'm happy to meet you all.