Hello there stranger

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by G.I.N.A.S.F.S, Jul 14, 2014.

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  1. G.I.N.A.S.F.S

    G.I.N.A.S.F.S New Member

    One search phrase and five links later, I end up here. To type up some sort of idea of who I am, when I don't like or understand that person. Maybe my mother's rants sent me here, perhaps loneliness or even curiosity. Curiosity to see if no one will preach to me or actually make me care about existing. I wouldn't call it living unless I could actually feel the powerful emotions others do. Back to my introduction; Yes, I have depression. Had it since the beginning of middle school. Yes, I have tried therapy. It was quite a horrible experience and I certainly hope I never try it again. Yes, I have also tried religion, a more traditional sect. of Christianity you could call it. Very... straightforward rules I thought would help get my head straight. It did many things I wouldn't like to describe anytime soon, all of them psychologically damaging really.

    Those events may be in the recent past, but it still leaves me in a state above the pitch-dark hole of suicidal thoughts. Not to say they aren't there, but they simply lurk on the fringes of my consciousness mostly. It can be compared to feeling as if something is always looking at you, but you have no idea how far or close they may be. It makes it so easy to fall prey to triggers that happen frequently due to my apathy, and I don't have to fall far to be completely back to be completely engulfed by those thoughts. I suppose that's it other than I'm a lesbian that tried to come out to my mother a few months ago and it seems all she wants to do is pretend like it didn't happen. It is cruel, but I dunno why I expected so much more from the same person that pretends I'm not depressed on a daily basis.
  2. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Hello, welcome to the forum G.I.N.A.S.F.S :) I can asure you that people on here care about each other and are very supportive if you need to talk to somebody. I'm sorry your therapy was a bad experience for you. Did you just try one therapist or have you tried a few? I'm truly sorry that your mum doesn't accept you for who you are, maybe over a but more time shell accept it more. I'm always here if you need somebody to talk to :hug:
  3. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :welcome: to SF G.I.N.A.S.F.S

  4. pooky

    pooky Forum Buddy

    Hi G.I.N.A.S.F.S,

    Welcome to SF.

    School days can be the toughest days on many people thus causing depression.

    You have tried therapy and it failed to have a positive effect on you. I suggest you to try a different therapist and hope that it helps you to gain control of your life.(Trust me, if one therapist has failed, then it doesn't mean that all others will fail. Actually, someone will surely be there to guide you)

    Its disheartening to read that your mother fails to understand you. I believe, after some time she surely will understand you.

    You can try to get involved in doing things that you love doing so that your mind is diverted, your energy is channelized into your hobbies and thus you become less depressed and be more happy.

    Don't think about anything negative. Don't think that you are alone and unloved because that is obviously an illusion or a false perception/belief to think that you are alone, people are cruel to you and so on..No, you aren't alone, or the environment you live in, is aggressive.Instead substitute your negative thoughts with positive ones like "Oh, I am such a good person", or "I am learning more everyday and getting wiser", "or "I am so good at writing. Nobody is better than me". (You must trust me. Substituting those negative thoughts with positive ones really helps anyone who does it)

    Do write back here on this forum. We are very friendly and would love to hear from you again.

    Take care.

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