I am a 25 year old female who has struggled with a number of chronic conditions and life threatening illnesses for a large portion of my life (especially the last five years). I have had additional life complications and a tumultuous childhood. For years I have contemplated suicide off and on and have been hospitalized over 16 times since 2003. My health and life events often influence my pattern of suicidal ideation, right now I am dealing with the potential of having a new type of Cancer in my thyroid and have a another lump at the side of my skull. This is making me feel the suicide thoughts coming on again in addition to other life issues that have been deteriorating. I truly believe I would not have these thoughts to commit suicide if I was not tormented by so many problems physically. I have never wanted to die, but I wanted to escape suffering and pain. I often wish I could be reborn in a new body. And I could live the life I always wanted to which entail "normalcy" and peace.