Hello everyone. I looked up and joined this forum a few hours ago. It was related to a bad mood which is somewhat better now, although I don't regret doing so. My aim was to ask a few questions about some more "practical" things, although I noticed this isn't fully allowed by the guidelines so I wasn't sure how much I could say... the urge to do so has in any case passed for the time being. On most forums I use my full name, but for obvious reasons I'm only using part of it here, which is a common and generic name anyway. It's not that I'm worried people I know might identify me, but rather to not give satisfaction to certain internet trolls if they happen to find this... who would be happy to hear that suicide is on my list of interests, and wrongfully try to bite off part of the credit for that. I can only say that I'm somewhere in my 20's, and have asperger as well as other mental conditions (not officially confirmed by doctors but obvious enough that it's not really a priority to). From what I can say for starters, I am not here because of any particular event that has suddenly thrown me into some state of desperation. Wanting to shut off my body is a logical and rational thought, which I have been pondering for what is now years. For a multitude of reasons, some which I might mention later others that no one reading this will likely ever know, being alive is a burden that I see no point in and have gotten sick of. I am forced to live in a world that I cannot make sense of, that I have little in common with, and on which I barely want to have anything to do with anything... on top of which I have to feel threatened every single day in various indirect forms. I feel like laughing just thinking that I'm still alive right now, because it seems outright absurd and seriously a bad joke. Right now I don't have many concrete plans to do anything, so no immediate danger. I continue to observe life from my corner, and to think of the best way to exit this bizarre show that plays in front of me between morning and bedtime. Also the safest, depending on what beliefs about the existence of afterlife everyone has. I guess that's the most I shall dive into for an intro.