Hello there

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Mircea, Oct 10, 2015.

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  1. Mircea

    Mircea Member

    Hello everyone. I looked up and joined this forum a few hours ago. It was related to a bad mood which is somewhat better now, although I don't regret doing so. My aim was to ask a few questions about some more "practical" things, although I noticed this isn't fully allowed by the guidelines so I wasn't sure how much I could say... the urge to do so has in any case passed for the time being.

    On most forums I use my full name, but for obvious reasons I'm only using part of it here, which is a common and generic name anyway. It's not that I'm worried people I know might identify me, but rather to not give satisfaction to certain internet trolls if they happen to find this... who would be happy to hear that suicide is on my list of interests, and wrongfully try to bite off part of the credit for that. I can only say that I'm somewhere in my 20's, and have asperger as well as other mental conditions (not officially confirmed by doctors but obvious enough that it's not really a priority to).

    From what I can say for starters, I am not here because of any particular event that has suddenly thrown me into some state of desperation. Wanting to shut off my body is a logical and rational thought, which I have been pondering for what is now years. For a multitude of reasons, some which I might mention later others that no one reading this will likely ever know, being alive is a burden that I see no point in and have gotten sick of. I am forced to live in a world that I cannot make sense of, that I have little in common with, and on which I barely want to have anything to do with anything... on top of which I have to feel threatened every single day in various indirect forms. I feel like laughing just thinking that I'm still alive right now, because it seems outright absurd and seriously a bad joke.

    Right now I don't have many concrete plans to do anything, so no immediate danger. I continue to observe life from my corner, and to think of the best way to exit this bizarre show that plays in front of me between morning and bedtime. Also the safest, depending on what beliefs about the existence of afterlife everyone has. I guess that's the most I shall dive into for an intro.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi and welcome you to the forum If you believe you have aspergers then it is best to get yourself probably diagnosed as there are so many illnesses out there it is hard to distinguish between them without professional education
  3. Mircea

    Mircea Member

    Thanks. And that is true, although for now it seems obvious I at least have some form of autism or similar, based on every description I have read so far. My brain can't be aware of and process many basic things in a timely manner... whereas certain triggers will put me in a relaxed state which even shuts down my muscles, making it difficult to move or even speak coherently for some time. That can be due to many things of course... biology is complex but interesting.

    I should mention that having this isn't a reason why I'm depressed though. If anything I consider having asperger a blessing... because I think it makes some people more open to other things, and in my case it makes me less aware to some bad ones which helps.
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    We actually have a number of members here who have aspergers. For obvious reasons I cannot provide their avatars. But I hope you will connect with some of them, as they may be willing to share their methods of coping. I agree with the earlier suggestion that you seek a professional diagnosis. It could be something else and, whatever it is, some additional support could lend relief. Meanwhile, welcome to SF. And thank you for reading and respecting the guidelines.
  5. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum Mircea! I'm in my 20's also and constantly feel like laughing at my life because it must be a joke (right?). I hope you find lots of support and friends here :) I hope we can change your view on life and that you can feel happier in yourself and enjoy life more.
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