hello to my kind of world

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by mohammed rahat kaleem, Oct 1, 2016.

  1. I never taught there are people who are like me of atlest think like me.....I have had so many suicide taughts even when i was 10(I am 15 though), but it never went too far. I used feel suicidal at the moment and at other times I was a happy go lucky person. But now, the things have changed..... The person whom I loved the most (grandma) got cancer and I am not there beside her.i used to live with my family Dubai and my grandparents lived in India, after the diagnosis my mother and my siblings went to live with my grandma to take care of her and here I am with my father living in my aunt's house for higher studies. Though my aunt is a real piece of shit my dad doesn't want to talk to me cuz he is busy with his phones, one he charges the other he uses. Sometimes days pass by and I never open my mouth or leave my room. No one except one of my friend knows about my suicidal taughts and obviously takes it as a joke. Almost 3 times a week I cry myself to sleep. I think that if you die at an early age it's less painful for the people around you and less drastic cuz you have less responsibilities.i came here looking for painless ways to die but got myself signed up. I dunno how far can this stop me from pressing the self destruct button. Weeping*
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome to the forum
     
    mohammed rahat kaleem likes this.
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Mohammed, welcome to the forum my names Brian and I'm glad you came here. You're going through a tough time and it does get lonely with nobody you can talk to. Most of the people here are going through painful times so we understand how you feel. You are getting to the age where you're a young man now and things change very quickly so don't give up on yourself. Keep posting here, sometimes just writing out your feelings and problems can help you feel little better. The people here will support you and you're no longer alone. Take care my young friend
    Brian
     
    sahel likes this.
  4. troubledmind

    troubledmind Well-Known Member

    Hello!! It takes time and effort but you can beat those feelings.. I'm 59 years old and have been battleing my problems since my teens.. I'm suicidal, I don't think it ever goes away entirely.. I have three failed attempts.. Someone has been looking out for me.. try and get in with a therapist.. Over the years of therapy I have learned to put those feelings to the back of my mind.. I hope you continue to post here, it really helps to have someone to talk to.. Take Care!!!
     
  5. sahel

    sahel SF Supporter

    I am sorry for your grandma's illness, and I understand that this plus feeling lonely makes your life tough. Maybe talking to counsellor at school helps to cope with the situation better. Brian is right, things change quickly when you are in teen ages or when you are young. I wish I had more to say, but please don't give up.
    Welcome to forum, hope it helps.
     
    Brian777 likes this.