Hello, My name is Jon. I'm 21 years old and I've been depressed since I was 15 years old. I'm just so fed up with my life. I don't like the way I look. I hate the color of my skin. I hate my face. I'm ugly. I've been struggling with depression for so long it just feels normal to me at this point. I don't feel happy but I'm so used to it I'm just numb. I've been in therapy for over two years and it hasn't helped very much. I recently tried anti-depressants and I had a bad allergic reaction and I don't want to try them again. My parents don't understand and make me feel guilty about my depression because there are people in the world experiencing worst things and I should just get over it. My life just seems so pointless. If I were to die no one would care. I know people think suicide is selfish but I think it's equally as selfish to ask someone to live through their suffering to make others feel better. I just don't know what to do anymore. Nothing is getting better and my life is pointless. I'm just so fed up with everything. People say things are going to get better but they are not and if they do my life still wouldn't be the way that I want it to be. Nothing is going right in my life. My grades are dropping. My hair is falling out and I'm weak all the time. My parents are become more and more annoying. It seems to get worse day after day. I really dont' want to be here anymore. What's even more pathetic in my mind is that even if I wanted to kill myself rightn ow I couldn't because I don't have any way of doing it and I'm not a big fan of pain. I wanted to overdose but the pills are have not lethal even at high over dosages I would still live so its rather pointless. I was honestly thinking about walking in front of a car or something. I just wanted someplace to voice my thoughts without judgement so I figured I would try posting on here. If anyone reads this, thank you for reading! Sorry for the poor sentence structure and grammar as well. Have a nice day!