I'm John and I'm tired, very tired, hence the handle. I'm in a very dark place these days and not seeing much hope for the future. As my world crumbles around me, knowing the pain it will bring upon those I care about, gives me an ache i feel I can no longer bear. I'm not in immediate danger , but as the darkness closes ever closer in, I don't know what might trigger that urge. I'm more afraid than I have ever been. I don't know what to do.