I don't know why i'm making this thread. c: But i ought to tell someone! So, first of all i'm fifteen. And i'm guessing that many people here are adults. And that often times teenagers can blow things out of proportion, or claim they're in an emotional crisis for attention. Also pretty certain someone will respond "You've got your whole life ahead of you! Now is just a stepping stone, hold on and these feelings will go away!" But let me state my case. I have zero friends, and i sit at the computer 24/7. I go to an independent studies school which you only visit one day at a time to turn in and receive work. I'm pretty fat, ugly, and socially awkward. Maybe i'm just being lazy, but i don't see any recovery from this. I can go on, get a shitty job, live in a shitty apartment, and continue my shitty lifestyle until i die from morbid obesity or something like that. Or i can cut to the chase, off myself and hopefully come back as another person that's less likely to fuck shit up. Oh and i am completely incapable of talking about my emotions. Usually i'll try, then say something that makes me seem like an asshole to avoid going further. I dunno. The only reason i'm posting this is because i was angry at my sister for wasting what she has. So that made me think and i tried to text my mom to admit i want to kill myself because i couldn't even imagine doing it in person. Unfortunately i couldn't with the phone i had. And i realize now it would've broken her heart, but i don't see a point in continuing this. It's getting old.