Hello!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aphex, Nov 7, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Aphex

    Aphex New Member

    I don't know why i'm making this thread. c: But i ought to tell someone!

    So, first of all i'm fifteen. And i'm guessing that many people here are adults. And that often times teenagers can blow things out of proportion, or claim they're in an emotional crisis for attention. Also pretty certain someone will respond "You've got your whole life ahead of you! Now is just a stepping stone, hold on and these feelings will go away!"
    But let me state my case. I have zero friends, and i sit at the computer 24/7. I go to an independent studies school which you only visit one day at a time to turn in and receive work. I'm pretty fat, ugly, and socially awkward. Maybe i'm just being lazy, but i don't see any recovery from this. I can go on, get a shitty job, live in a shitty apartment, and continue my shitty lifestyle until i die from morbid obesity or something like that. Or i can cut to the chase, off myself and hopefully come back as another person that's less likely to fuck shit up. Oh and i am completely incapable of talking about my emotions. Usually i'll try, then say something that makes me seem like an asshole to avoid going further.

    I dunno. The only reason i'm posting this is because i was angry at my sister for wasting what she has. So that made me think and i tried to text my mom to admit i want to kill myself because i couldn't even imagine doing it in person. Unfortunately i couldn't with the phone i had. And i realize now it would've broken her heart, but i don't see a point in continuing this. It's getting old.
     
  2. in heaven

    in heaven Well-Known Member

    it's not a shitty lifestyle if you're ok with it. A lot of people spend a lot of time on the computer, you've probably met some of them online. It's not a strange thing these days, the only people that think it's strange are probably older folks.

    You don't know for sure what's coming. Your future may not be as shitty as you feel it will be and, even better, you can change it if you don't like it instead of offing yourself. Even if you don't want to change, a simple job, a good enough place, staying on the computer and eating what you like doesn't sound like a shitty lifestyle.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2012
  3. Aphex

    Aphex New Member

    True. :) But it's not what i want. I want a family, friends, a home. I want a life. But that's not gonna happen. And i suppose it doesn't matter, as i'm fine now. Sorry i posted this! Happens when i actually think rather than distract myself. I'll continue on for now. Maybe when i can actually text i'll admit i want to kill myself and go visit some psychologist.
     
  4. in heaven

    in heaven Well-Known Member

    Don't be sorry posting. It's good that you are opening up about this.
    I don't know what makes you so sure that's not going to happen. If it's because you think you're fat, ugly and socially awkward then just know I've seen many fat ugly guys get married and are happy while other not fat not ugly people get divorces, so nothing guarantees a bad or good future. The socially awkward part, you just have to find someone right as I know most people that are socially awkward are not awkward among close friends and since you spend so much time online, maybe you would meet someone online too, so it's ok if you don't go out as much. There's a link to the SAS forum at the bottom of this forum, a lot socially awkward people there.
    If there's still something else bothering you then yes go see a psychiatrist.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.