my name is ryan. im 20 years old and i want to be a writer. i struggle with suicidal thoughts throughout everyday and also have a history of cutting and abuse of alcohol. i suffer from dysthymic depression and some social anxiety issues. was hoping to maybe find some people who 'get it' (as much as i wish no one else had to be able to 'get it,' if that makes sense). the person i've been using as my crutch (although i feel like we've had a mutually destructive relationship) has let me know that she can't be the person i turn to anymore, so i thought it would be best to find a community of people going through similar things. i used see a therapist and take meds but stopped. i guess thats all for now. cheers.