Hey, first time here. Not sure exactly what to type, or to share. Not sure how much I'm comfortable with sharing. So I guess I will just sort of start and see where it goes. I've had suicidal thoughts for quite a few years now, although they've always seemed very limited. Never having any real effect on me or my life. They always were in the background, and although they came up, it seemed easy to ignore them or get my mind on something else. About two or so years ago, I went through a period where they become more forward in my life, but I managed to get a lot of support (not professional, just a really good friend of mine) and it seemed as if it was something of the past and I was done with it. In the last year, it has come back, but been a lot stronger.. I have done what I can to control it, but it has been hard. I self-harmed. I burned myself, staying away from cutting because it was far too obvious and I didn't want others to know. It is a way to ease the pain without alerting anyone. I have been talking a lot to a friend of mine, who had suicidal problems in the past, and has been doing a lot better and she has helped me quite a bit. I haven't seeked any sort of professional help, mainly because I don't want anyone, specifically my family to find out about any of this. From what my friend has told me, I suffer from depression, and although I do agree with her, I guess I cannot be certain. It seems to get worse everyday though, along with the self-harm. There are days where everything seems fine, and then it does downhill again the next. It is hard to get through it alone, yet I don't want to tell anyone in my family. I've come here, hoping I will be able to open up more, maybe share stories and hear from others. Help people or just offer support. All I can share right now. Not willing to get in too deep. Not really comfortable with that.