Hi.. I'm new to SF. I very recently lost my older brother to suicide and am overwhelmed with sadness, regrets, guilt.. a multitude of feelings. If only I had known how he was feeling. I wish I had been more attentive, Called him to see how he was feeling, etc. I love him so much and was caught up with my own life and no longer living together I wasn't making the effort I should have. I could have stopped it had I known he was feeling this way. I'm haunted imagining how horrible he must have been feeling to leave this world behind, and I really hope he is in peace now. I've had terrible anxiety since it happened. I feel scared when I am alone or in the dark, as silly as that may seem. I may see a grief councilor soon, I'm still undecided. I'm here in part to hopefully meet people who can help me cope in this horrible situation, but also to hopefully prevent another precious life going to waste. The suicide rate is shocking and I'm so sad to know that so many people are giving up on life. When I was 16-17 I was very depressed and often contemplated suicide. I am very lucky I didn't give up on life, because a few years later I learnt how to be happy. Everyone's path to happiness is different, and I'm here to hopefully get some of mine back and help others find there's too.