Discussion in 'Welcome' started by melbourne90, Jun 11, 2013.

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  1. melbourne90

    melbourne90 Member

    Hi.. I'm new to SF.
    I very recently lost my older brother to suicide and am overwhelmed with sadness, regrets, guilt.. a multitude of feelings.
    If only I had known how he was feeling. I wish I had been more attentive, Called him to see how he was feeling, etc. I love him so much and was caught up with my own life and no longer living together I wasn't making the effort I should have. I could have stopped it had I known he was feeling this way.
    I'm haunted imagining how horrible he must have been feeling to leave this world behind, and I really hope he is in peace now.
    I've had terrible anxiety since it happened. I feel scared when I am alone or in the dark, as silly as that may seem.
    I may see a grief councilor soon, I'm still undecided.
    I'm here in part to hopefully meet people who can help me cope in this horrible situation, but also to hopefully prevent another precious life going to waste. The suicide rate is shocking and I'm so sad to know that so many people are giving up on life.
    When I was 16-17 I was very depressed and often contemplated suicide. I am very lucky I didn't give up on life, because a few years later I learnt how to be happy. Everyone's path to happiness is different, and I'm here to hopefully get some of mine back and help others find there's too.
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Welcome Melbourne, so sorry to hear about your loss. There are other members who joined for the same reasons as you and more who have lost loved ones to suicide. If you search the threads you will see that you are feeling and wondering the same as others. This is a good community and I hope you find help here.
  3. melbourne90

    melbourne90 Member

    Thank you, Theodora.
    P.S I like your signature.
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hi Melbourne and welcome.. Sorry for your deep loss. A professional to talk with about this might really help.. This website just what this is all about also..
  5. shedhaddock

    shedhaddock Banned Member

    Hello Melbourne, Welcome to SF. We're mostly a nice group of people here and I hope you continue to keep coming back :D

    See you around,

    Pinky :flypig:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi please hun don't feel guilty ok i know that is hard i do i lost my younger bro to suicide and i wow feel as you do i could have prevented it if i reached out more
    The thing is hun noone can know what your brothers mind where it was at if the incident was thought out or if it was impulsive either way hun his mind was made up
    I am glad you are here hun and i do hope you reach out for some help with your grief it help me I like you came here for same reasons to help others but remember to take care of YOU ok hugs
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