Hello, I would prefer to keep my name a secret, but obviously certain life events have lead me to this forum. Clearly ending up on a forum like such isn't a good thing, but I guess in a way I am looking to find some guidance through people who can say they feel the same way, and have been dealing with depression as well. Nobody in my real life can relate to me and I am often referred to as a drama queen for expressing my sadness. Quite frankly, I am sick of hearing about how weird I am for being depressed, or how stupid I sound when I try to seek help for suicidal thoughts, this is my first time branching out (aside from friends and family) I'm not to the point where I think I need to call a suicide line, I'm not sure what they could tell me to help anyway, I really just came here to confirm that I am not alone in this exhausting, soul breaking depression. There's times I want to just end it all, but I'm not sure I am that selfish, it's a constant battle between living in pain and ending it all. So anyone who can relate, please don't hesitate to share, it really will help me feel better, and I guess it's sort of disturbing that I actually WANT to find people going through the same thing, I wish this upon nobody. Thank you in advance.