Hello everyone. I'm Calvin I'm 15 Years old. I've been suffering from depression for about a year now, I've had enough seriously. Last week (Wednesday) I was submitted to hospital with suspected meningitis and the nurses we're so nice, I felt safe, secure and felt loved. The nurses helped me with everything. I got discharged on Friday (I had and still have a lump in my through which the hospital are doing test's on) and since then I've felt complete rubbish, I miss the hospital? I miss getting treated like a proper human being, my father treats me like rubbish. I've been trying to kill myself or get re-admitted into hospital. I just miss it so much. I've tried to not drink but my mother forced drink down my throat (not literally). I've been trying to <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods> and still trying on this point forward. I just want to be loved, have a proper life. I would like to contact the nurses at my local hospital to see if i can talk to them but idk how to or if its against any type of law. I am getting treated for depression but its not working. I Really want to be re-submitted or at least contact my nurse, she was amazing. I've also kept my wrist band on from when i was in hospital, I want it to remind me of her or the hospital. I'm also not having a good life at school, my teachers keep on asking me allot of personal questions which i don't feel like answering apart from this friend of mine tony (he is like my personal tutor because atm I'm not in any of my current classes thank god.). Some of my *friends* throw the odd ey fatty joke, I don't like that but every time i face up to them they're like "its a joke man chill..." I try to smile and laugh it off but its still their and is to this day. We'll I've had enough. I don't have a social life either. I just sit at my pc and play league of legends. i just want some loyal friends, I'd rather be in hospital than live a proper life. Every night i pray to god and ask him to end my life or re-submit me to hospital ( I know i sound like a proper ungrateful idiot, I know and I'm sorry for anyone who is suffering from a deadly disease, I really am.) I just need somebody to talk to me or please give me some advice before i top myself, I really wanna leave. Thanks for taking your time to read this. Please if you wanna talk to me and try and make me see seance please contact me <Mod Edit - Acy - personal info deleted> before i top myself. help me.