As my name probably says i cant stop crying, and um, im sorry im usually very gramatical and, spelling properly, another one of my problems, i m afraid of judgement from a bunch of strangers
umm, i know im being stupid, and, irrational, and i guess this shows just how dependant on her I am
ok, my story is, ive had a very depressing and repressed life, never gone to therapy, despite being suicidal, few years ago I was given a ray of light, my very supportive, loving, wonderful girlfriend - who is just my rock, and I tend to fall apart without her, shes been having her own problems lately and has disappeared for a few days, and, its asif ive already s tarted mourning her I always do this, feels like a knife in my heart, i have many apparent issues
it feels asif life is just torturing me and, im not a religious person so, no solice there, ive been told im a very 'whatif' person, and lately those whatif just, seem to have become the reality i believe
i just dont know, what i would do if something happened to her and, life was good before all the problems lately, it was finally good and, im afraid of death, i dont want to die, but i do
and, i feel asif i should be mourning, asif I should be sad and in pain, I feel guilty and bad bad if i watch a movie and laugh, or anything else
it just feels like a bad dream that I want to wake up from
please dont judge or belittle my problems, im a very sensitive person and i suffer from major anxiety
also, as odd as this must sound - if anyone is to pm me or try to contct me over some kindof instant messenger, let it only be males - as another one of my problems (which is why I generally avoid women), is that I seem to temporarily fall for women - a problem that stems back to my mother
and im just too fragile / boundaryles right now for that, im sorry
I definately would be interested in that though - some kindof im or something, i unfortunately have no one to talk to,
i feel like im overeacting, but i cant stop the feelings, i cant face the new week without her, she is everything I have rolled into one, my best friend, all other friends, my therapist, my life partner, soul mate - I guess, the idea of losing her - would be, the equiv to losing every friend you have, every / all family you have, because that would infact be the reality, i've put all of my eggs into one basket I guess
umm, i know im being stupid, and, irrational, and i guess this shows just how dependant on her I am
ok, my story is, ive had a very depressing and repressed life, never gone to therapy, despite being suicidal, few years ago I was given a ray of light, my very supportive, loving, wonderful girlfriend - who is just my rock, and I tend to fall apart without her, shes been having her own problems lately and has disappeared for a few days, and, its asif ive already s tarted mourning her I always do this, feels like a knife in my heart, i have many apparent issues
it feels asif life is just torturing me and, im not a religious person so, no solice there, ive been told im a very 'whatif' person, and lately those whatif just, seem to have become the reality i believe
i just dont know, what i would do if something happened to her and, life was good before all the problems lately, it was finally good and, im afraid of death, i dont want to die, but i do
and, i feel asif i should be mourning, asif I should be sad and in pain, I feel guilty and bad bad if i watch a movie and laugh, or anything else
it just feels like a bad dream that I want to wake up from
please dont judge or belittle my problems, im a very sensitive person and i suffer from major anxiety
also, as odd as this must sound - if anyone is to pm me or try to contct me over some kindof instant messenger, let it only be males - as another one of my problems (which is why I generally avoid women), is that I seem to temporarily fall for women - a problem that stems back to my mother
and im just too fragile / boundaryles right now for that, im sorry
I definately would be interested in that though - some kindof im or something, i unfortunately have no one to talk to,
i feel like im overeacting, but i cant stop the feelings, i cant face the new week without her, she is everything I have rolled into one, my best friend, all other friends, my therapist, my life partner, soul mate - I guess, the idea of losing her - would be, the equiv to losing every friend you have, every / all family you have, because that would infact be the reality, i've put all of my eggs into one basket I guess
