I really am having a tough time at the moment. I am not in own place and am barely hanging on to my job by a thread. Its getting harder and harder to get up each day. Everyday I am more sad, pessimistic, and dejected. And on some days (if I'm lucky) just numb. I don't believe I could commit suicide but I can't imagine going on this way much longer. What does that amount to if not suicide? I am so very lonely. So tired. So disappointed when I wake up and realize that sleeping allthe day away is not an option. I am terrified that this is as good as it gets. That I've wasted the best years of my life and that its all downhill from here. I know thats my depression talking but it doesn't make those thoughts any less real. Hopefully I can help someone while I'm here. Hello.