Hello everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself as a new member to these forums, My name is Chad, i am 27 years old, the reason I am here is because I am struggling with severe depression, I have been for quite a long time, but recently things have really felt like they have taken a slide into a place that I consider dangerous. I have had thoughts of suicide on and off for quite some time, atleast since i was in grade 8, I always got through those times either by immersing myself in online gaming, tv shows, and otherwise things that just numb my mind as to the sad reality of my life. Recently though gaming just doesnt seem to do it for me any more, I just get bored far too quickly, maybe I have just grown out of these games, but I just dont get the same enjoyment out of them that I used to, this has led to more time spent being bored, which has led to my depression running rampant. I am at an all time low as far as energy level goes, most days, the only reason I really even bother to get out of bed, is because I know that i would be on the receiving end of a yelling at by my parents, so I roll out of bed every day and spend most of my time in my room, aside from leaving it to do the odd chores around the house, some days I dont even bother to shower, as it just feels like too much effort. Recently my thoughts of suicide have become much more frequent, I think about it every day and have even taken some consideration as to how I would do it. I guess you could say that I am here as somewhat of a reach out for help from those who have felt/are feeling the way I feel right now, and hopefully some who have gotten better. Despite my suicidal thoughts, I know deep down that I dont want to die, but at this point in my life i feel like whatever awaits me in the great unknown cant possibly make me feel much worse, and possibly foolishly, I hold the hope that whatever awaits me just might lead me to a place where I feel like I belong. Thank you to all who have taken the time to read and/or reply to this in advance, I hope and look forward to getting to know this community in the following days/weeks/months/ and hopefully years.